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Software Issues

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by D1300, May 20, 2008.

  1. Please be gentle with me if it's already been posted...........

    Dear Tech Support Team:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

    I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

    Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications.

    I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

    Please help!

    "A Troubled User"


    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that people complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

    It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

    It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

    I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

    I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
    the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the
    program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
    Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

    STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support ...
  2. Variations have been posted Dean, but I like this one.
  3. I am still yet to hear back from tech support on the implications of running Hobbies 3.4 and Mistress 5.5, I have heard that it can be done but there are risks.
  4. I'm soooo tired of bad advice from tech support. :roll:

    They should have advised "troubled user" to purchase and install the system utility "Divorce 1.0" which removes successfully Wife 1.0 and allows all his favourite programs to run again without any glitches. It's expensive, but a highly recommended utility :wink:

    Whilst he won't be able to run Girlfriend 5.0 any more, he can install the all new version 6.0 which comes with many new and improved features over the older version. Alternatively, he could always install "Play the Field 1.0" which is a very popular replacement for Wife 1.0.
  5. I was under the impression that “Play the Field 1.0†was a known carrier of the W32.Syphilis.DDOff virus?
  6. Isn't this pretty much e-mailed to people by their ISP the instant they sign up as a sort of 'Welcome to the Internet' assumed knowledge thing?