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So my friend wants to give up riding...

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by Kitju Kat, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. A dear friend of mine recently got his license and bought a bike. On his second ride out, myself and some friends went down to meet him to take him on a ride. We only managed to get a few houses down the road and he braked too hard and came off. Scraped knee, snapped off brake lever and a very scratched right hand side of the bike.

    Since then he has only been on a few very short rides according to another of our friends, and has mentioned he is giving up on the bike and wants to sell it. I have had a brief chat to him about it and feel he is giving up too quickly. I know it's hard getting back on after a fall as I recently came off myself and it has crushed a lot of my confidence in myself and riding. So I know how he feels.

    But what more can I do? I don't want him to give up now and possibly regret it later on in life....
  2. Unfortunately if hes made up his mind, theres not much you can do. Since hes still new, id suggest its more of a confidence issue. Just reassure him that we were all in his boots at the beginning and you certainly couldnt learn to ride overnight.

    Perhaps just convince him to ride short distances for coffee etc and then just gradually get longer and longer rides to build up his confidence?
  3. If he has his mind set on not riding anymore then you can't really do to much about it. If he crashed soon after his licence maybe he hasn't gotten biten by the bug yet.

    I will just point out though, it's not like he 'gives up' his bike licence. If he starts to regret selling the bike then other then financial situation (or a nagging wife) there isn't much that would stop him from getting another bike. Basically some people just need an extended cooling off period.
  4. You've just given the answer to yourself Kit Kat. You've pranged and continued, he's pranged and doesn't want to.

    If you can't accept the downside of riding then you're not a rider.

    In fact I go one step further with this and believe you're not really a fully fledged rider until you have a 'big' prang, if you still think it's worth getting back on a bike after that then you can safely say nothing is going to stop you from riding except death. I know I'll ride until I die, do you?
  5. Don't try to pursuade him. If he wants to give it another go, he will. You really don't want to be in a position of having convinced him to ride and then he hurts himself.

    He's probably just realised just how much he could hurt himself, and quite rightly, is taking some time to think about that.
  6. I was in the exact same situation. First ride out on almost a near new Honda CB400 and grabbed front brake during a turn from a standing stop downhill, and bent the clutch lever and scratched the engine.

    After that, confidence went to zero and made many excuses not to ride the bike. How I fixed it, got a light supermotard. Bike is light, easy to steer, and little to no damage when dropped.

    Since then, I feel supremely confident in the bike but still can't do those cone weaves ! Don't give up. I gave up twice already but was sick of seeing riders out there on the weekend enjoying themselves.

    Riding a bike is the hardest thing I have ever tried, unlike driving high performance cars which is almost second nature to me.

    Other thing to do is to have several people ride together, at least one upfront and one behind. This creates a buffer and he may feel safer and be able to ride at his own pace.
  7. ask him how he will feel when he sees YOU riding by .....

    I agree that if he's made up his mind, you probably won't change it, but I would also suggest that you counsel him to wait a while before he sells the bike; apart from anything else, he'll be losing money on the sale :)
  8. While riding looks so kewl, it's not for everyone. Nor can anyone do it. Or I should say should do it.
    The road is no place to learn for mine. Tooo freeeken dangerous. And sorry but you have to wonder how he got alicence if he cant get 50m down the road.
    It comes back to being taught properly before you hit the black stuff. (literaly)
    Like a day with an instructor is anywhere from $250 to $350. Yep not cheap. But how much is a month off work going to cost you. Or even in the best case a new fairing or other part.
    The biggest part of riding is confidence and self belief. Because if you don't back yourself in a shitty situation you are just going to jump on the stoppers and stay on them and target fixate. Never a good thing.
    Even if you have to throw the bikes on a trailer and get out ofthe city. It's better than having Mr white knuckles hating the day. Little steps is the go and time in the saddle. It's easy tobuild up the confidence in little steps. If they have an off it's like taking 6 steps back. You have to learn at your own pace. Push them a bit too far and they go all the way backwards.
    I had a girl on the weekend who was brilliant in the car park. Nailed the stops, slalom and 8's. but shit herself on the road and just made so many dumb mistakes.
    I went home and grabbed the ute. Loaded the bikes and took her out woop woop and put about 300 km under her belt. Started on a cruisey road and then around small country towns then finally the end of the day back into the mad traffic. She was somuch better. A totally different rider. The only difference was she believed in herself more.
    I mean really I did not teach her much. She did not need it. All I did wasblow kind smoke up her ass and gave her confidence. Like she was a good rider. She just did not believe in herself.
  9. Would taking him out as a pillion help? Many people get the bug from riding 2-up?
  10. Some very good points here. I'll grab our other mate and see if he feels safer riding with one of us in front and one behind.

    Pillioning would be interesting! Not sure if he's ever done it to be honest. Sadly I can't take him as I'm still on my L's (and oh so not confident enough to risk someone else's life as well).

    I'm going to the super bikes on Sat, I'll ask him if he'd like to come along and see if watching people makes him want to get back on (I know it will help me!)

    Thanks for all the suggestions guys! Keep 'em coming!
  11. Find a new friend,you will have more fun.
  12. Preferably one that can ride ??? or that you can ride lol you crack me up. Keep it up champ
  13. Let him give it up. You cant force a heartfelt choice,your ability to take a fall and rebound might be stronger than his. If his confidence is not in hand then he will ride with trepidation and a feeling of vulnerability...not good when you should be calm at peace,in tune, focused and at one with everything. Riding with fear and negative feelings leads to the Dark Side.
  14. send him off to HART for a practice session or the learners to licence course. he's invested a bit in the bike so it might save his investment. its all on their bikes with crash bars so he should feel safe. they will also tell him if they don't think he's up to it.
  15. If you convince him to keep riding and he consequently has an even bigger prang what then? Let him make his own mind up, its not up to you or anyone else to convince him otherwise.
  16. Getting back on the horse is all well and good, but there are safer ways to get around. Maybe he'd prefer the bus. He doesn't have to ride if he doesn't want to, I know I would never let my children ride motorcycles.
  17. Some got the balls to ride and some ain't, and some have bigger balls by walking away.

    You could tell him to HTFU, he climbs back on again, and gets seriously hurt, how you going to feel them?

    Rabbito summed it up nicely Riding with fear and negative feelings leads to the Dark Side.
  18. this is bigger than riding. he will regret it later if he gives up so quickly. if he can push through it, get the training, get the practice, get the support and pursue the original dream, the dream will come true, though not as easily as he expected. THAT is a lesson worth learning. If he doesn't learn it in relation to riding, he can learn it elsewhere and will have to. The lesson isn't optional. the timetable is.

    PS Chef, i can't get my MQ to work (i wanted to quote someone else too), but i suggest you take up your point of "you're not a real rider til you've had a stack" point with Ken ;)
  19. Why would you never let your kids ride ??? Do you ???
    I learnt from the age of 6. Not much choice when you come off a working property.
    My kids have been riding since they were ten. Their girls and I had to burn the barbies first lol. Now they love it. Now they are learning to drive.
    It's not just the fact they learn to ride. They learn control. And the consequenses of being stupid with a motor. So when they are at an age to be on the road they will be miles ahead of the other kids. It might just save their lives.
  20. He probably only got a bike because everyone else was doing it. If he doesn't want to ride he doesn't want to ride, it's not a big deal.