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Smart Kiwi

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Justus, Mar 10, 2007.

  1. An Australian ventriloquist visiting Christchurch walks into a small ranch and sees a local
    farmer sitting on his porch patting his dog.

    He figures he'll have a little fun.

    Ventriloquist: "G'day, mind if I talk to ya mutt?"
    Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Skip."

    Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
    Dog: "Doin' all right."
    Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

    Ventriloquist: "Is that guy your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)
    Dog: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake
    once a week to play."

    Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think."
    Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
    Horse: "Cool"
    Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
    Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)
    Horse: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and
    keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
    Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a fooken liar."

  2. Haha Good one MG :grin:
    Bet I know what the sheep says!
    Ventriloquist:How does he find you in long grass?"
    Sheep:"Very Satisfying!"
  3. Kiwi on a Date

    :LOL: Jace.

    Sheep are liars tho. :p

    Photographs however dont lie. :wink:

  4. Re: Kiwi on a Date

    The thing that cracks me up about that photo is that it is Australian. :LOL:
  5. Re: Kiwi on a Date

    Yeh, you can tell, his pants are still on...
  6. MG, that video is fcuking gold! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  7. #8 Ktulu, Mar 11, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  8. #9 Scrambles, Mar 11, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  9. #10 Jace, Mar 12, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Ktulu's vid although it' average atleast refrenced NZ. WTF did that have to do with NZ scrambles? :wink: :LOL: