Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Smart Kiwi

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Justus, Mar 10, 2007.

  1. An Australian ventriloquist visiting Christchurch walks into a small ranch and sees a local
    farmer sitting on his porch patting his dog.

    He figures he'll have a little fun.

    Ventriloquist: "G'day, mind if I talk to ya mutt?"
    Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Skip."

    Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
    Dog: "Doin' all right."
    Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

    Ventriloquist: "Is that guy your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)
    Dog: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake
    once a week to play."

    Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think."
    Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
    Horse: "Cool"
    Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
    Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)
    Horse: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and
    keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
    Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a fooken liar."

  2. Haha Good one MG :grin:
    Bet I know what the sheep says!
    Ventriloquist:How does he find you in long grass?"
    Sheep:"Very Satisfying!"
  3. Kiwi on a Date

    :LOL: Jace.

    Sheep are liars tho. :p

    Photographs however dont lie. :wink:

  4. Re: Kiwi on a Date

    The thing that cracks me up about that photo is that it is Australian. :LOL:
  5. Re: Kiwi on a Date

    Yeh, you can tell, his pants are still on...
  6. MG, that video is fcuking gold! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  7. #8 Ktulu, Mar 11, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  8. #9 Scrambles, Mar 11, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  9. #10 Jace, Mar 12, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Ktulu's vid although it' average atleast refrenced NZ. WTF did that have to do with NZ scrambles? :wink: :LOL: