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Smart answers

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Guest, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. Smart Ass Answer #5

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
    a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
    trench coat and flashed her.

    Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your Ticket not
    your stub."


    Smart Ass Answer #4

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she
    couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
    these turkeys get any bigger?"

    The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


    Smart Ass Answer #3

    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
    down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

    The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a


    Smart Ass Answer #2

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up That
    reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
    of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
    The truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

    The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of


    AND NOW........FOR .............THE..........

    #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005Winning Answers......................

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

    "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
    might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury Or illness, or
    a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses

    A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
    would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
    sexual exhaustion?"

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
    restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her Head and
    sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other


    Smart teacher!!!
  2. Two old people are sitting on the veranda of their home in the deep south of the US.
    A newspaper reporter asked them "Have you lived here all your lives?"
    To which the old man replied "Not yet".