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Discussion in 'The Pub' started by emsie, May 18, 2007.

  1. So today marks two years since we sat in Botanic Park in Adelaide, crying and thinking about the cat we'd had put to sleep the night before, then wandering through the Rose Garden next to Botanic Park, just marvelling in the beauty of it through our grief.

    It seems such a long time ago, yet in the same breath it seems like yesterday. Above and beyond the grief for losing my first cat (the first one who I was "mum" to) was the guilt for having him put to sleep. By far a long way above and beyond that is the guilt for not being able to stay there with him. I said goodbye, we had purrs before bedtime and then I couldn't handle staying there so I asked the nurses to look after him.

    Am I meant to have been able to get past the guilt by now?

    *tears in my eyes as I type*


    In honour of the big guy on the left :)
  2. That's a gorgeous kitty there Emsie. He looks like he would have been king of your castle...

    I've lost a few cats in my time, and it's never easy. Jst try to remember the good time you had...
  3. 12 years after I had my first dog Marco put to sleep, I still speak of him as though he only just left. The whole family still has fond memories and he often comes up when we talk about the old times.

    Memories are wonderful :)
  4. *sniff* pets are hard to lose; I was in Perth, about as far away in Australia as I could be, when Garfield, our beautiful red persian, went missing. I found him curled up and at peace under a tree in the yard when I got back the week later. I didn't have the heart to show the children what he looked like in death, but they watched while I dug a hole and buried him under the tree.

    Then two years ago we went mad and bought our second Garfield.


    He is quite daft, and as dumb as his namesake was clever, but we love him anyway :).
  5. I had this gorgeous kitten/cat (about 12 months old at the time) and on the sunday had broken my thumb in a social softball game.

    This cat would stand up and ask me to pick it up. This one morning I couldn't because of my thumb. It was run over by a car that morning.

    I still feel terrible because I couldn't pick pugsley up that morning and that was 10 years ago.
  6. *nod* I'm with you there .. I'd broken my toe on the Tuesday so I'd been paying attention to myself more than him. By the Sunday afternoon I knew something was wrong. Monday was a public holiday and I really really knew something was wrong. Tuesday, first thing, we got to the vet. They said it looked like an abcess in his mouth. Easy enough to fix, just a bit expensive. Organised for that and as part of the pre-anaesthetic blood test, they found acute kidney failure. We came in that evening to say goodbye (17th May).

    Every time my toe hurts, I think of that night.
  7. Our cat before our current cat we had for about 10 years.

    It had serious thyroid problems which could be treated one of two ways. First would be a daily tablet for life. Second was radiation therapy @ $900.

    We chose the radiation therapy instead of trying to force a tablet down its throat every day.

    Sure enough 12 months later, it goes missing for 2 days...Hmm, something not right here. It finally turns up and just lies there. Bring it inside and it cant even make its was to its food bowl. Hmmm, not very good now, so my wife takes it to the vet. I never get to see my cat again. It has gone blind, arthritis, cancer, etc, etc.

    Minky gets put down that night. Me very upset for a long time and the kids even talk about her now and that was 2 years ago. :cry:
  8. it's amazing .. you can have your own little moment when you're consoling someone who's just lost a pet, but generally be ok .. then when there's an anniversary, or a similar situation you have to go through, it sometimes feels like you're back at square one no matter how long it's been.
  9. Emsie, all teary now.

    I know how you feel. I was with a friend the other night and she mentioned seeing someone walking their dog who was obviously on their last legs. And I got all upset (and maybe a little rude). Too many memories.

    As for not being able to be there, that's so sad, but don't feel guilt. To have someone still feel guilty and sad after this time shows what an wonderful parent you were to the cat.

    For me, the opportunity to be with Sally was something that I was very grateful for.

    I feel so bad for you now, animals, the little buggers really get to you, don't they?
  10. As I type, Xena (the other cat in that picture .. also known as Berg), is leaning on my laptop so I can't see what I'm typing.

    That I'll leave her there and type around here even though I can't see the screen is just a small testament to how much she knows she's loved *laugh*

    don't know what I'd do without them even though sometimes the fear of losing them is almost overwhelming :)
  11. Bloody alergies! :(
    I had to say goodbye to my cat Cloud of 20yrs, she was my family. She waited til I had someone in my life to kiss & hold me & then slowly she let go. I was in denial & waited maybe 24hrs too long... I eventually turned to my parnter at the time & said "I think we have to go to the vet". They were some of the hardest words I've ever said.
    It was terrible, I couldn't look as they put her to sleep. I only put my head next to hers & as she went her head rested against mine & she let out a little sigh *sobs* I feel selfish for not accepting it sooner.
    Cloud was cremated & now sits in a beautiful carved wooden box in my loungeroom *sook* never thought I was a cat person, but they just keep showing up!
  12. I hated the guilt trip when it came time for Maggie our Whippet to go, but it lifted some guilt when i convinced myself that I was returning some of the loyalty, she had shown us for so many years, by not letting her suffer any more
  13. You know, no one's ever put it that way. It doesn't make it THAT much easier .. it's a lovely thought though :)

    If I could give one piece of advice right about now to anyone who finds themselves in that situation, as hard as it may be, I'm not entirely sure you'll ever forgive yourself if you don't stay or if you don't organise a way/place to go and remember your friend (whether it's burial or a plaque on a wall somewhere). One day I'll find a way to forgive myself for not doing either of those.
  14. I wanted to write the same. Being with Sally as the moment came was the saddest minute of my life. But knowing how calm it was made it so much easier. When Sal was diagnosed with the cancer, I swore she would not suffer a day longer than she needed to.

    Emsie, I really feel for you at this time. Hugs and warm thoughts to you.