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Should i try and meet my long lost brother?

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by wang chung, Oct 24, 2005.

  1. Go for it!

  2. Nope

    0 vote(s)
  1. Seriously, a year or so back my brother was looking for his parents birth cirtificates (Milatary purposes) but instead he found some adoption papers. I been thinking lately, that it would be good to try and get in contact with him. Just see what his like. My mum doesnt really wanna meet him, for whatever ( complex women reasons im sure)

    i have abit of info about the father, oh my brother would be 35 now.. How old is groberts again?? :shock:

    Anyone else done this, or knows of someone who done this?
    how did it go?

    dead ends?

    Whats the chance he is super rich and will let me design a concept car? or buy me a turbo busa? :biker:
  2. I say go for it!

    You only get on life (unless your a buddhist) and you only get one family. Better to regret something you did, than something you didnt do.
  3. what he said
  4. Yeah.. go for it, I would.

    Like Cowboy1600 says, better to have a go and find out, than die wondering.

  5. If you are curious, you will probably keep being curious till you've resolved the situation one way or other. So start the process, but if something comes up that disquiets you about it, pull out. He needn't know.
  6. Only do it if you promise to post pictures of your brother & groberts so we can make a final decision
  7. mate do what you think is the right thing. If it were me i would do it.
  8. I've had a few mates who met their biological parents, with varying outcomes, but this is different. The mates were brought up their whole life with expectations about what their bio parents were like etc etc and disappointment is so much more likely (and means more if it happens). What do you have to lose? Seriously, that's not rhetorical, real quiestion. Will it upset you greatly if your bio bro doesn't want to know about it? If he's a drop kick? If not, then I say 100% go for it. The possibility of gaining a brother is worth the risk of him turning out less than you hoped.

  9. fcuken oath mate.

    One more chrissy present!

  10. I allready got a drop kick brother, and i have no idea what type of upbringing the adopted one might of had so i dont really have any expectations. If he turns out to be a derro i'll just have to tell my mum i coudlnt get in contact with him :wink:
  11. nothing tried , nothing gained , nothing lost.

    dont worry about me i am 36 , but Vics about the right age :LOL:
  12. Wow man thats deep.

    Oh and i say go for it, what have u got to loose?
  13. Im gonna be the Devils Advocate here.
    But i come from a VERY bias perspective.
    Ill try and keep this rather dark story to a minimum, but i need to tell bits at least, to explain my perspective.
    Following my mothers death, my Father figured he'd find the answers to all his problems at the bottom of a bottle. Eventually, he drank himself into a nursing home (via a couple or diabetic coma's) He was only 50ish.
    In the process of cleaning out his house, we discovered a couple letters from Centerlink, saying that the Salvation Army had someone trying to find him. Figuring it was more than likely my two long lost Half Brothers from my Fathers previous marriage, my uncle Gordon approached Dad about getting in touch with them. By this stage Dad had had some treatment at the Nursing home (read: total shithole - but thats another story) and was still fairly lucid 'most' of the time. Dad was well aware of what little there was left of his estate, that was to left to me, and VERY first mentioned that it was to be protected. Gordon then got ahold of Glen and Phillip (the two Brothers) Glen was very eager to meet Dad, but Phillip didnt want anything to do with him. Gordon made it very clear of Dads feelings regarding his estate (i think even Dad knew by this stage his days were numbered) Glen agreed and came down from Darwin to meet Dad. Everything was great. Dad was still with it enough, to give Glen a good idea of what kind or man his Father was, and i had found a brother that i never knew (I'm an only child essentially). A couple of years later, Dad passed away.
    This is when things got nasty. Gordon (being power of attorney) had failed in the mean time to alter Dads will to make sure I was protected. But knowing full well of Dads wishes, Glen and even Phillip still went ahead and made a 1/3 claim each on the estate. Phillip hadnt even made ANY effort whatsoever to meet Dad and up untill this point didnt want anything to do with him, but was quite happy to claim my f*cking future. This money was left to me, so i could start my own life (deposit on a house etc) All i was left with was enough money to pay some old debts and buy a shitty old car.

    My point it this. If you want to find him, go for it, But protect yourself. It mind sound harsh to treat 'family' this way, but you never know where the knife thats aimed for you back will come from.
    You'd be surprised.

    I dont want to put a downer on what could be a very exciting moment in your life, but just be very, very, VERY careful. I'd hate to see someone else go thu what i did, and you never know what the future holds.

    Sorry to be a downer guys. Cheers! 8)
  14. A sobering and cautionary tale, lurch, and very sad, how true it is that God gave us our family, but at least we can choose our friends!
  15. Scarey tru. Considering my entire Fathers side of the family totaly failed to first A) alter the will, and 8) back me up at all regarding my Dads wishes. BTW, i have virtually no contact with them at all now. Everytime i even get a xmas card from them, it just hurts too much.

    But this isnt about me, and i dont intend to hi-jack.

    All im saying Mat, is just be oh, so careful. It might sound like roses in theory, but in practise, the reality of it could be alot harsher...
  16. Should you or shouldn't you? That's purely for you to decide. Why are you even asking a bunch of strangers who couldn't really give a shit to help make such a personal decision? Why not walk out onto the street and ask the first person you see what they think? The value will amount to the same, sweet FA. These frivilous responses you are getting should tell you volumes about what the worth of the opinions of other posters are worth.

    If you're taking the decision seriously then you shouldn't need to ask a bloody internet forum what you should do. Think for yourself and make a choice based on that. It doesn't matter one iota what anyone else went through, they're not you and lets face it, if it turns out totally wrong or totally good it has nothing to do with any faceless, pretend names on here.

    I'm wishing you good luck with whatever you do but I don't have an opinion you should listen to other than MAKE YOUR OWN BLOODY MIND UP AND DON"T ASK DUMB QUESTIONS. This is serious for you, treat it as such.
  17. Maybe Mat just needs a bit of support in his decision. Ultimately he knows the final decision is his but he does know quite a few people on the forums so not all the posters/voters are faceless pretend names.
  18. You're not a downer, you're a voice of reason. The bad has to be weighed with the good. This situation is different though in that once an adoption has gone through, there is no legal claim on property. The principal is the same though.

  19. cowboy........i love that line mate..........i love it so much i wanna make it my signature if you don't mind.......that is sooooo great!!

    and lurch-o-rama.......sorry to hear about your situation and its great that you actually mentioned it so that others may learn from it. your right, be positive about things, be optimistic, and try to believe the best in people.....but never at your own expense, always cover yourself. that's just the way it is
  20. yeah, I guess you must prepare yourself for whatever meeting your brother may bring, he may turn out to be a great guy, and a good big bro to have, on the other hand, he may turn out to be a Honda owner or shudder worse, a Harley rider.