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Same species problems!

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by Katbird, Feb 8, 2007.

  1. This is a new thread designed for those having relationship problems and who want to seek advice or air a concern.

    Keep in mind at all times that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! :wink:

    Advice should be kept positive with no 'go and kill them' inuendo's. Sex advice, well I don't know? Just keep it clean! :LOL:

    Now post away dear friends, Doctor Katbird and staff are ready! :p


     
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  2. ilovesex.

    so, advice..... how do i get more, without getting busted by the mrs?
    hehehe
     
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  3. Isn't this the function of the "Ask Vic" part of the forum????
     
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  4. Vic is more than welcome to answer flex's post! :shock:
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    All I can say is stay loyal to the Mrs and strike a deal with Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters! :grin:
     
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  5. 30 things to know about her...

    1. Just looking at your hands can turn her on.

    2. Her best friend knows everything—all of your vitals, from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings. Chat with her about your relationship, at your own risk.

    3. When you go away, even for a day, she sleeps in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.

    4. She only appears to have it all together. Her true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in her closet, her makeup bag, and her desk files.

    5. She’ll never tell you exactly how many men she’s slept with. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she’s slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn’t want to appear a floozy), but mostly it’s sexual amnesia.

    6. She fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before the two of you actually first got naked.

    7. She still thinks about her ex-boyfriends and compares them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.

    8. She has Googled your exes.

    9. When she falls in love, she completely loses her appetite.

    10. Her body really isn’t naturally this hairless ad smooth all over. But she will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it that way.

    11. She has discovered your p0rn stash and your frequently visited p0rn Web sites and thinks the things that turn you on are hilarious.

    12. She obsesses about when you’re going to call again. The period of time between your first date and your “Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?†always seems stretched into slow motion. So don’t worry about looking too eager. Call.

    13. When she says, “I’m ready,†she’ll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don’t try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; she will still need an extra 7 minutes.

    14. When she says, “I’ll meet you in 15 minutes,†she means she will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won’t actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).

    15. You’ve made her cry more times than you’ll ever know.

    16. She wants you to talk a little dirty.

    17. At the beginning of your relationship, she saved all of your voice mails and listened to them (and made her friends listen, too), repeatedly.

    18. She splits the cost of her fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don’t notice the gargantuan deficit.

    19. She might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave her legs because she likes you. As crazy as it sounds, the more she likes you, the less likely she is to sleep with you on an early date, because she doesn’t want to sabotage having a “proper†relationship with you. So she just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in her drawer and not shave her legs—all to prevent herself from getting naked with you too soon.

    20. She checks out your butt every time you leave the room.

    21. She is constantly testing you. She observes, analyzes, and judges every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression.

    22. She needs constant indications that you want her around. That’s why it’s better, for example, to say, “I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?†than to ask, “What are you up to this weekend?â€

    23. She loves it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see her flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know she is actually flirting with you—through him. Encourage her—it makes you appear more confident.

    24. Even though she may complain that she doesn’t see you enough (or that you work too hard), she finds nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.

    25. Even if she insists on paying or splitting the bill on your first date, she’ll think you’re cheap if you let her.

    26. She starts fights with you because she’s feeling ignored. She is trying to force emotion out of you. Don’t retreat into your cave; just give her what she wants: some attention.

    27. If she is going to break up with you, all of her friends know way before you do. She has been talking about it for 2 weeks.

    28. She may find your best friend repulsive, but she has fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because she wants him, but because she wants a piece of a guy who is so close to you.

    29. When you do break up, she will put all photographs of you and mementos of your relationship in a shoebox and store it in her closet. Just in case she gets nostalgic—or in case you come back.

    30. She wants you to take control in bed. Yes, she may have a successful career, be financially independent, and live on her own. She still wants you to pick her up, carry her to the bedroom and take without asking.
     
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  6. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
    Ktulu you are so f**kin funny! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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  7. gee Ktulu... dunno where you got your info from. Buta lot of that is way off. Well it is for my Mrs anyway.
     
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  8. Rubish, and the sooner women & psycoloists realise it's rubish and stop writing stupid books the better.
     
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  9. What if your single? Oh no. Some one quick tie my hands so I cant type. [-( [-( 8-[ :-k [-X :-#
     
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  10. Shouldn't that be hand :wink: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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  11. single working off the post relationship fat and then its on to raving full time!!!!
     
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  12. I only have one tip for this topic-

    Love like you're paying by the hour.
     
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  13. You can't honestly say that we think the same and act the same can you? :-s

    Opposites attract and what women offer men, men offer women their equivalent.
     
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  14. I think the needs are the same just the priority of them maybe different.
     
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  15. onya woodsy!

    the only good book on relationships referrs to people as people not differences but whats simila and they have nothing to do with genda.

    it a book about childhood and how it effects our behaviour in relationships.

    everyone should read it, it's a page turner. Pia Melody wrote them.

    ---------------//---
    one day when chatting to a person i dont know [thank god] that john grey book came up and she said;

    "guess wot! it's all crap"

    what do you mean?

    "it's all crap, he admitted it in an interview."

    his book is still selling, why would he say it's crap?

    "i don't know but that's what he said. men don't really come from mars and woman don't really come from venus"

    ohhhhh, i seeeeeee.
     
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  16. THE present EVERY man wants for Christmas!!! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    ATT2490957.
     
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  17. I am told some of that nasal-delivery stuff will help you short-duration guys out, George. :-w :wink: :LOL:
     
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  18. montyb,

    there is a gene puddle of unrefined, anti introspecive woman out there.

    if you don't marry one of those, you won't be needing that remote.

    those men didnt really think about what they want from marrige. is it a woman to cook, clean and poke, or a partner who is on your level that can give heaps of years of learning together?

    those who need a remote got married because they were useing the woman who didnt know and still doesnt know any better. they deserve it!
     
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  19. Come on 'stumpy! Have a laugh! Crack a smile! It's FUNNY!! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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  20. It was funny Monty! :LOL:

    But at the end of the day I am with Stump. I want someone to walk through life TOGETHER. Share thoughts, dreams, adventures and respect. :)
     
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