Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Rules For Bedroom Golf - very entertaining

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by generalyuehfei, May 5, 2006.

  1. Rules For Bedroom Golf

    1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls. :dance:

    2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. :beer:

    3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. :smileysex:

    4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft for firmness before play begins. :jerk:

    5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole. =;

    6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play on the course again. \:D/

    7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to the well formed bunkers. :popcorn:

    8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason. :tantrum:

    9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case. :idea:

    10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they consider to be a private course. :shock:

    11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course is temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case. :p

    12. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine. :butt:

    13. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. :bannanabutt:

    14. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. :cool:

    15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player. *HINT- Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the owner and the rules are subject to change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.
  2. Play the back nine when the course owner isn't looking :wink:

    Hehe, love it, I'll show it to the girlfriend when she gets home!
  3. haha nice work

    could i venture to say that there are way way too many smilies in that post?
  4. For those with poor reading skills - particularly on numbers 12 & 13