Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Ronnie Barker and Rindercella! Read it to the end!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by robsalvv, Jun 7, 2007.

  1. Ronnie Barker RIP.

    This was originally shown on BBC TV, back in the seventies. Ronnie
    Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how
    manytakes). The BBC received not one complaint. Must have been the
    speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds. Try getting
    through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read:

    This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and
    her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard
    frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of
    the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly
    astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty
    Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and
    fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the
    cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

    Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
    Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
    turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six
    dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks The gairy fodmother
    told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a
    cucking falamity.

    At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
    suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
    Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
    her slass glipper.

    The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door And the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
    and let off a fig bart.
    "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
    "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
    When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper On
    both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

    Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
    Knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
    halls and a hig bard on.

    He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
    Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
    Lived his life in lucking fuxury,and Rindercella lived hers with a
    follen swanny.
  2. Mist all chucking frighty, that just about did my head in. Funny stuff, Rob :grin:

    :LOL: I remember the two Ronnies from when I was a kidlet, Dad used to watch it quite a bit. Can't say I remember him letting me watch this though :p
  3. buckin' frilliant!
  4. Ah yes, from an email that did the rounds and posted on many forums. It's not actually by Ronnie Barker, nor was it ever performed by him. Its an amended version (with more swearing added) to a comedy routine of a comic by the name of Archie Campbell.


    Would never have made it to air in that form in the 70's!!
  5. Good work Detective Blue Suade!!

    Goes to show you can't believe everything you read on the internet! ...still, it's faming flunny!
  6. God bless spoonerisms. I nearly fell off my chair laughing! True!! :grin:
  7. that is gucking fold :rofl:
  8. I was also going to say that having watched all the Two Ronnies at the time of airing, THAT would never have got through the censors!!!

    Dave Allen was BANNED from TV in Australia in 1959 for saying 'bloody'! True!

    But Barker WAS the master of the English language when it came to workplays and rhymes and especially spoonerisms. He did a sketch based on Rev Spooner which was an absolute hoot. And his Crimean War sketch, in which he bemoaned the fact that Sgt Dave Granger was left in grave danger, and Sgt Hedley Merill was also in deadly peril was a classic :LOL:.
  9. Funny shit...
  10. I wouldn't know about that, a few years ago they wanted to put minder on primetime for and aniversary or some such and it took ages to find one that they actually screen.