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Roadside proctology

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Loz, Oct 29, 2005.

  1. A traffic policeman was cruising the highway on a regular patrol when up ahead he was greeted with a most unusual sight.

    Two Harleys were parked by the side of the road. An enormous, bearded bikie was bent over the seat of one of the bikes, with his leather pants around his ankles. His companion was standing behind him with two burly fingers jammed up the first fellow's bum.

    The policeman stopped and approached the scene. "Allo allo, what exactly is going on here?"

    The standing bikie, poking and rummaging deep in the other's clacker, didn't even look up. "My mate here's had too much to drink. I'm trying to make him throw up."

    "You've got it all wrong, pal," said the bobby, "you're meant to stick two fingers DOWN HIS THROAT, not up his backside!"

    "I know," said the bikie. "I'm just about to."
  2. And then there's this one....

    On a late fall evening, Animal was over at a friend's garage wrenching his shovelhead until 3 in the morning. On the ride home the temps had dropped into the low 30s and a light snow had started to fall. As there was no one on the roads, and he was cold, Animal hit the throttle to get home quicker.

    As he crossed over a bridge, he saw flashing lights in the mirror as a cruiser pulled him over. No amount of pleading could sway the cop from writing the speeding ticket.

    During the process, the cop asked Animal where he was coming from and Animal replied, "I just got off work at the hospital." The cop looked at him suspiciously and asked, "What do you do at the Hospital?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," came the reply. "A rectum stretcher? What the hell is a rectum stretcher?" "Well," said Animal, "sometimes people have a defect where their rectum is too small and it can cause pain so I have some special instruments that can be used to stretch them out. I can even stretch them up to 6 feet." "Six feet?" said the cop, "What would anyone do with a six foot A-hole."

    "Give him a badge and put him under a bridge," came the reply.