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Riding and its effect on family

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' at netrider.net.au started by tomm, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. Hi, I just started taking up riding and was wondering of everyone's experiences with family/friend reactions to it.

    Ironically I got 'the talk' the day before i was going to buy the bike, but in short I'm going to end up a cripple/vegetable and my family is going to have to look after me for the rest of their [now ruined] lives. Also, they feel that I'm telling them to shove all the all the work that they spent on me to try and get me the best start in life right up their arses. My dad feels cheated and used and ultimately dissapointed.

    There's more but that's the main thing, and I'm sure i'm not the only one going through this. And I really do understand.. and it wrecks me to make them feel this way.
  2. I lusted over bikes for a YEAR before I did my prelearners. Parents against it, despite dad having a bike at my age. Can't stress how entirely against it they were, but eventually they realised how important it was to me and let me to the prelearners. No stopping me after that. They're slowly getting used to it. Btw I got that talk to. Be stong, its your family's duty to worry.

    I suggest you try to get across how passionate you are about it and how important it is to you. And throw in alot about things you will do to be safe.

    Friends wise though, as I had been talking their ear off about bikes for a year they were glad I finally had it so I would shutup. That didn't work though as I just talk more about them now :D My guy friends with ego complexes (and sports cars to match them) try to drag me. The girls oo and aaahh about how shiny it is and want a ride :D
  3. Hey there.

    It's a decision you have to make, and I'm only being honest but you are almost guarenteed to come off your bike. I was really passionate about getting a bike, my parents understood and let me, sure they were VERY worried. You must know it is incredibly dangerous, but on the other hand, it's one of the best feelings in the world.

    Do what your heart says.
  4. Do a search, sure to be a thread or 2 on it.

    For me, mum was a little worried, but was okay as I bought a bright, loud bike with bright, loud safety gear. If that's how your folks feel, well shouldn't they care more about your happiness and enjoyment of life? Do they worry as much when you or siblings are on the roads driving? It's part of their job description to worry, they'll hopefully come around to the fact that you are making a choice (pretty 'good start in life' in itself, yeah?)and accepting the consequences, both good or bad. That is life. Decisions and directions.

    My GF is fine with riding, she actually embraces it now and does a lot of volunteer fundraising and M/C awareness stuff - most of my non-riding friends have been for a squirt at some point with me and enjoyed it!
  5. cant give any advise on this really i was in sydney and got a call from my parents they booked me in 2 do my prelearners, old man had been out testing bikes for meand basically picked one out, so a week later i had my bike and my L's
  6. G'day!

    Well my family lives abroad, and my parents (mom especially) freaked out when I told them I wanted a bike. Dangerous dangerous dangerous... I hated and still hate relying on public transport for going anywhere, especially when uni is 2 hours away by bus and 30 mins away by bike. I ended up saving enough money and bought the bike without telling them anything.

    To be honest I'd rather not let them know anything, because of the constant worrying that would burden them. But they are coming here to visit soon and I'll have no choice. I guess the main argument I'll use is : I'm a grown up now + it's cheaper than a car.

    There is no denying that it's potentially more dangerous than being a cager, and no wonder families will worry. Meh I know I'll fall off my bike one day, possibly end up crippled or dead.
  7. good to see you look at the positive side of owning a bike :LOL:
    i think he was looking for arguments for his case to his parents
  8. It's encouraging in this selfish age in which we live to see this question being asked. No man is an island, and no man lives unto himself or dies unto himself. It's good to recognise that.

    But ultimately if it's your money and your life, it's also your decision. You need to sit down with the folks and assure them that it's not the end of the world, and it isn't a repudiation of what they stand for, or even what they've hoped for. Ask them, in a nice way, how they'd feel about you taking up BASE jumping, or bull-fighting! Everything in life has risks, and they need to be confident that you understand those risks and are mature enough to stay within the envelope...

    Failing that, get Sgt. Scumbag to adopt you :LOL: :p.
  9. If motorcycles hadn't been invented I'd be lurking on the bullfighter forums right now...
  10. well, i was 44 when i got my learner's. i didn't even TELL my mum......and swore my kids to secrecy......then after my first lesson ended up telling her.

    she worried - but she gave me money for a lesson (that was how the secret got out cause my kids and i laughed so much).

    then after 8 months when i'd started talking bout my 'next' bike - and didn't even have my first one yet, i decided to buy a bike. i spent a week worrying bout how to tell her.

    finally when i said something - she said 'i knew six months ago u were going to get one' - how DO mothers know these things??????????

    sorry ur parents aren't being a bit more supportive - but being a mum myself i know how hard it can be to stand to one side and watch ur kids do dangerous things..... :)
  11. Tell them that they have achieved everything they need to as a parent whereby you have become an adult who can make his own decisions in life after weighing up the consequences and doing your research. Personally I think they're being a little selfish in thinking that they can tell you what to do for the rest of your life. Guidance and support is ultimately what parenthood is all about.
  12. Thanks for the quick replies.

    Without reiterating, I really do think I've gone through everything everyone said (except for adoption... hornet :LOL: ) and it didn't really seem to make any impact at all.

    Honestly, I think that most of the damage has already been done and that they will slowly come to accept motorcycling for what it means to me. Again, I'm fully aware of the risks and wasn't asking for how to personally deal with the danger of riding, but for people's similar experiences. Thanks all : )
  13. :nopity:

    Personally, I'd wanted to get my road license since I was a wee tyke and made a deal with my mother when I was about 15 that I'd wait until I was 21.

    We never discussed it again until the day after my 21st when I informed my parents I was off to get my learners. "Have fun and thanks for waiting patiently" was all they had to say. :)
  14. How old are you tomm?
  15. Ahhh, the joys of having parents who encourage you to do what you want.

    & having a Daddy that taught me how to ride.

    Yeah, yeah, I'm Daddys little Princess.

    It was telling the Grandparents I was worried about!
  16. The grief we catch from family and those close is out of fear and concern. If you are going to ride the road pushing the envelope then their fears are well founded. if you are going to ride responsibly then they will always have fear, but will eventually accept that you are a rider.
    It comes down to your call to balance what is right, the harm to loved ones by following your choices or the pleasure you gain from your pursuit.

    My own personal experience - i still get concerns from those that matter, and that gives me a twinge, because i don't want to cause them harm, however they see the pure pleasure i get from being on the back of the bike. They have come to accept that even though i may come to grief, each day on the bike will have been worth a 100 without it.
  17. It's motorbike riding, not trafficing drugs to Bali...
  18. + 1 for what Mattyb said.

    Seems they are over reacting to me.
  19. Honestly.. :LOL: been there done that.. Mrs gave me the sh1t for nearly 2 months.. until she found out that whinging was not going to change my mind.. so she gave up.. she then realise it's not that bad after all..

    Just behave yourself in the next few months tomm and time will sure solve your problem.
  20. mate, you may or may not end up a cripple/vegetable that your family is going to have to look after you for the rest of their [now ruined] lives.

    the onus is on you to ride responsibly and gear up, maintain the bike well, do rider training etc. the fear will still be there but they should come around. involve the old man when you start tinkering with the bike.