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Ridiculous job titles

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Mr Flibble, Jul 13, 2014.

  1. Today I got an email from my web hosting company.

    It was signed:

    Jon Edney
    A2 Hosting Satisfaction Engineer

    Satisfaction Engineer? WTF? Sounds like an employee of a dildo manufacturer!

    So lets hear of any stupid job titles you've come across...
  2. Worked at one IT company in the 90's and the CEO's secretary had the title 'Gatekeeper' on her cards.
  3. Postal Delivery Officer.
    I deliver mail. How am I an officer?
    Since I work for the federal government, does that make me a federal officer?
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Our local shopping centre stopped Oz post mail deliveries, because it took it took one guy most of the day to deliver the mail? Apparently he was supposed to do something else? Mail men deliver mail don't they?
  5. Registered mental nurse... Official title whilst working in the UK... I felt special..
  6. In the federal public service-

    Senior officer then Most Senior Officer - really are they that bored they have lost all imagination?
  7. The shopping center stopped accepting deliveries, or Post stopped making deliveries to the center?
    Some places we "only" deliver. Others we sort and deliver. We have to look after our gear, clean up, get things ready for the next day, lots of paperwork. No two runs are the same. Some posties are contractors as well... don't envy them.
  8. Talking to my sister this morning, told her about the 'Satisfaction Engineer'. She told me about a job she'd applied for with a real estate agency - 'Director of First Impressions'. IOW a receptionist.

    Dog help us.
  9. I'm a receptionist - I'm SO going to use that, lol.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. I remember in an old 60's sitcom a guy was so pleased that he was starting work as a Resident Stationery Engineer. He was most deflated when he found out that he was going to be a janitor......
  11. I think you mean "Sanitary Engineer", @hornet@hornet. ;)
  12. I might start calling plumbers 'sanitation exorcists'...
  13. My first job in IT was 'Magnetic Media Transportation Consultant'. I used to unload then put tapes in a safe.
  14. I was looking for the description of window cleaner i'd heard and came across a couple of weird ones:

    Vision Clearance Engineer - window cleaner

    Education Centre Nourishment Production Assistant (dinner lady)
    Waste Removal Engineer (binman)
    Domestic Engineer (housewife)
    Knowledge Navigator (teacher)
    Stock Replenishment Advisor (shelf stacker)
    Dispatch Services Facilitator (postman)
  15. "Secret Service" - Well, they don't do their job well - not many people in the world who don't know about them, so they're not good at the first part of their job at least - keeping it a secret! Hopefully they're better at providing a service.
  16. my job description is, that bloke who does all the work on the factory floor while every body else sits on their arse watching you tube
  17. ^^^ Every factory needs guys like you gives everyone else a chance to take a well earned break :wacky:
  18. there is 5 of us in this company the new bloke has been with us for 6 months, he is our national marketing manager, to date he has brought in 1700$ worth of work I estimate he has cost us 90k in wages and agency fees in that time, I think we shall all be out of jobs soon if this keeps up
  19. Not a job title, but seen on someone's resume as a skill (not a previous job) supposedly related to applying for a job as a receptionist/administrator.... "Assembler of IKEA furniture". I LOLd.