Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Revitalising Central Dandenong

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by TonyE, Sep 12, 2008.

  1. Dandenong to bid for the 2020 Olympic Games.

    The Revitalising Central Dandenong Project announced today that Dandenong was to put in a bid for the 2020 Olympic Games.

    Should the bid be successful, to increase the likelihood that the successful bidders will win at least some medals, the competition has been somewhat modified.

    However, fierce competition is expected from rival areas such as Broadmeadows, Morwell, Springvale, Sunshine, Benalla, Moe, Footscray, Frankston etc...


    There will be a (very) short parade of famous Dandenong personalities (providing their bail is able to be raised). Following this will be floats representing important icons within the community - e.g. the Bundaberg Rum Bear, VB and local industries. Significant local commercial interests such as The Salvation Army Op shop, second-hand car yards and CentreLink are expected to feature prominently.

    The Olympic Flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the City wearing traditional flannelette shirt,jeans & moccasins with his defacto wearing the traditional floral leggings & muffin top.


    Competitors will have to hold a VCR under one arm & a microwave under the other. On the sound of the starting pistol, a Police dog will be released 10 metres behind the athletes.

    As above with the added obstacles of car bonnets, hedges, garden fences & walls

    Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use.(claw, sledge, etc) The winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the timeframe allowed.

    A strong challenge is expected from the men in this event. The first target will be a moving police vehicle, subsequent targets will consist of running bank tellers, video store and 7-11 attendants & 24 hour service station staff.

    Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband & wife teams & will take place on Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pots of VB at the local pub followed by a quick peek in a lap-dancing venue. The wife will be told not to make him any dinner when he gets home. She will be wearing bike pants, boob tube & thongs.

    The competitor will attend the nominated City skateboard area where they will obtain a bicycle stolen from a Scotch College or Mentone Boys Grammar student or Hailebury fags!. They then will be racing against the clock. Bonus points will be awarded should a helmet be obtained at time of theft.

    Amended to include Robbery with Violence, Burglary, Unlawful use of a Motor Vehicle, Arson, and Wilful Exposure.

    Unfortunately this event will have to be cancelled as organisers cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Dandenong.

    The traditional 4-inch beam will be replaced by the strip of gutter outside the Dandenong Hotel. This event will commence at closing time.

    We expect some extremely difficult dismounts to be performed on the apparatus. The floor routines will be held directly after this event at the Dandenong Police Watchhouse.


    Entertainment will include representatives from local youth organisations performing their traditional graffiti ceremonies on specially provided walls - music will be from groups accompanied by local artists well known to police within the area. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by local identities urinating from the top of the local spire in a cascading effect. The stadium will then be boarded up before local athletes & entertainers break into it & remove all copper piping, light fittings, air conditioners, etc
  2. Wow, where can I sign up??
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  3. I hear U2 are performing the opening ceremony!


    Meet the Olympics Ambassodor

  4. Hmm

    look I'm from dandenong so I know how bad it is.. I bag it more than anyone I hate it!
    and I thought ur thing was pretty funny till I saw u live in Brunswick.. Now maybe u moved from dande and are doing better now thats really good! but If you are just some lucky person who didn't have to grow up here and ur bagging my area.. It's just not right.. and its the kind of attitude I would expect from a real DANDENONG person .. no empathy
  5. Re: Hmm

    What's even more disturbing since this is a thread revival from a year ago is that dandenong people have finally got the internet and are using a stolen computer to access it. :shock:
  6. All i read there is "I can diss my hood, bru, but you can't diss my hood, bru!"
  7. Re: Hmm

    first post and they ressurect a year old thread? Me confuzzled
  8. I actually have to spend time there occasionally because of work. When you walk around what's laughingly called the CBD I'm not convinced that anything short of a 5 kiloton warhead would revitalise central Dandenong... :p

    And - I lived in Morwell and worked in Moe for many years so take the chip off both shoulders... (although that's still classier than Dandy) :p
  9. Nah, mate. Cold Chisel are reforming to sing "Cheap Wine" for the Opening Ceremony! Barnsey, Barnsey, Barnsey...
  10. Well, if you're going to revitalise a year-old thread, it might as well be one of the funny ones.....