Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Retirement Fund

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Tweetster, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. An oldie but a goodie.

    The Navy found they had too many
    officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
    They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a
    bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
    between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose
    what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted
    asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the
    tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
    with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was
    a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of
    his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with

    The third one was a
    non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when
    asked where he would like to be measured replied,
    'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
    It was suggested by the pension man
    that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice
    big cheques the previous two Officers had received.
    But the old Chief insisted and they
    decided to go along with him providing the measurement was
    taken by a Medical Officer.

    The Medical Officer arrived and
    instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he
    did.... The medical officer placed the tape measure on the
    tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear
    Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your
    The old Chief calmly replied,
  2. Thats GOLD!! :LOL: