He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded. And then a fight started… A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says, "Say, your head feels just like my wife's ass."The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin, "You know, you're right!" And then a fight started… A little boy went up to his father and asked:"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine." And then a fight started… What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common? Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking,and then next thing you know your house is gone! What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold? Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him. Wife: Who was that on the phone?Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau.Wife: What did he say?Husband: He asked if the coast was clear... My wife and I are into S & M. She Sleeps and I masturbate..