On a late fall evening, Jim was over at a friend's garage wrenching his shovelhead until 3 in the morning. On the ride home the temps had dropped and a light snow had started to fall. As there was no one on the roads, and he was cold, Jim hit the throttle to get home quicker. As he crossed over a bridge, he saw flashing lights in the mirror as a cruiser pulled him over. No amount of pleading could sway the cop from writing the speeding ticket. During the process, the cop asked Jim where he was coming from and he replied, "I just got off work at the hospital." The cop looked at him suspiciously and asked, "What do you do at the Hospital?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," came the reply. "A rectum stretcher? What the hell is a rectum stretcher?" "Well," said Jim, "sometimes people have a defect where their rectum is too small and it can cause pain so I have some special instruments that can be used to stretch them out. I can even stretch them up to 6 feet." "Six feet?" said the cop, "What would anyone do with a six foot A-hole." "Give him a badge and put him under a bridge," came the reply.