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Real 911 Calls, "BELIEVE" it or not!!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Jun 8, 2005.

  1. Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
    Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
    Caller: Fire, I guess.
    Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
    Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
    Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
    Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
    Dispatcher: Help you what?
    Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1
    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
    Darn..I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No
    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the Police
  2. The last one is a pearler :LOL: . I read in the paper a while ago a lady who rang 911 15 times in 20 minutes complaining that her pizza was late and wanted them to arrest him . They arrested her :shock: .
  3. yeah she got like 3 months jail time or something