We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year`s Eve party. We turned on a night light, switched the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The car arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out of the door, the cat scoots back into the house. We didn`t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn`t want the cab driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the driver that I will be out soon, "He`s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said as we drove away. "That stupid biatch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her arse with a coathanger to make her come out, ! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked, ! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her out into the backyard, ! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again." ! The silence in the Cab was deafening. ! ! !