Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Raising Boys

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by LadyRider, Apr 30, 2006.

  1. RAISING BOYS
    a) For those who have grown children, this is hysterical.
    b) For those who have children past this age, this is
    hilarious.
    c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
    d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a
    warning.
    e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth
    control.
    The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:

    Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
    1.) A king size waterbed holds enough
    water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
    4
    inches deep.
    2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them
    with
    roller
    blades, they can ignite.
    3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
    crowded
    restaurant.
    4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
    not >> strong
    enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
    Superman
    cape. It
    is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
    paint on
    all
    four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
    5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is
    on. When
    using
    a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
    times
    before
    you
    get a hit. A ceiling fan can
    hit a baseball a long way.
    6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
    baseball >> hit
    by
    a
    ceiling fan.
    7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
    already
    too
    late.
    8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
    9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
    though a
    36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
    10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
    4-year
    old
    boy.
    11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
    sentence.
    12.) Super glue is forever.

    13.) No matter how much Jell-O you pu! t in a
    swimming pool you still
    can't
    walk on water.
    14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
    15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
    commercials
    show
    they do.

    16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
    17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
    18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

    19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic
    toys do >> not like ovens.
    20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
    time.
    21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
    earthworms dizzy.
    22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.



    23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
    24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their
    friends,
    with
    or
    without kids.
    25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and
    brake
    fluid
     
     Top
  2. brake fluid in shed..... hmm i will be back!
     
     Top
  3. Apparently if you mix clorox & brake fluid in certain quantities it can make a bomb rather than a smoke generator...

    (and why my partner knows this, I don't really want to know :shock: )
     
     Top
  4. Yelling out the forum backdoor towards the shed .. "Oi!! I've got the Clorox .. have you found the brake fluid yet????"
     
     Top
  5. Amonium Nitrate Fertilizer and Diesel fuel in an almost 1:1 ratio, set off with a small ignition charge has devastating effect (refer Oklahoma bombings in the US). It's Amazing scary how easy it is to make deadly bombs and weapons
     
     Top
  6. Brake fluid and pool chlorine is another one. the pol chlorine can be granulated or tablet form.
    One of the big bush fires in Frankston many years ago, was started by pool chlorine tablets and brake fluid in a sealed plastic bag. By limiting the exposure to oxygen, it relied on a certain temperature before it would activate.
    These pleasent little devices were left in various places through bushland by a local firefighter. Several unactivated ones were found after the fire in undamaged bush.
    I also know of blokes who used this concotion in weighted Milo tins to fish ponds.
     
     Top
  7. Man after reading all of that I am quite happy to be childfree! :shock:
     
     Top
  8. You'd be the only person in Melton that is then :LOL: :LOL:

    Are you sure? :eek: :LOL:
     
     Top
  9. :LOL: 100% sure, Baccas isn't much better just leftovers of Melton :LOL: and as for the people... :shock: .
     
     Top
  10. i know im trying one of those ones..
    have a guess which one lol
     
     Top
  11. :shock: sounds like a lot of fun!
     
     Top
  12. is clorox that cloudy stuff that's really really potent to smell?
     
     Top
  13. Breathes sigh of relief at surviving to celebrate son's 22nd birthday last week

    Actually he never did any of those things, but my twin brother and myself when WE were little, well that's another story.....
     
     Top
  14. Everybody knows that you need to put custard powder in a pool not jelly.
    And brake fluid and chlorine (or any petroleum product and chlorine) will make a very unstable, loud, dangerous and more importantly FUN bomb. It takes a lot of trial and error to get the mix just right :grin: :grin: :grin:
     
     Top
  15. Actually, I think they did the custard powder thing on mythbusters, and it became like quicksand; They had to haul the guy out. The more he struggled, the more the stuff stuck.
     
     Top
  16. A very bloody loud, fun bomb, is just the right mix of oxy/acetylene in a balloon.

    Sticky tape a sheet of newpaper to it, light the paper and get well clear.

    :twisted:
     
     Top