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Purpose of Wearing a Tie is...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Lazy Libran, Mar 19, 2015.

    • It is designed to direct a viewers gaze down towards an individuals genitals, hence it is basically shaped like an arrow pointing, "look here".
    • It is also designed to cover the button's on a business shirt, in case one is discoloured or missing.
    • A tie is dangerous to wear around machinery so it is worn to distinguish one's self from those commoners who have to work with their hands.
    • A tie radiates an air of serious authority as in, "I can clip this on or actually tie it so don't mess with me buddy."
    • Around 300BC the Chinese started wearing ties of different colours to distinguish which army they belonged to because even their own general's thought they all looked the same.
    • Modern companies like to insist on the wearing of a tie as this rule helps to determine which of the drones rapidly comply with anachronistic rules and therefore are easily controlled, and which cause a fuss and should be gotten rid off at the next cull.
    Copied from somewhere else as found it funny and wanted to share ...

    Any more you guys can add....


     
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  1. A tie is ....a portable serviette to wipe up the spillages from your meal.
     
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  2. It's a convenient way to hang yourself when your life as a corporate drone becomes too much.
     
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  3. Oh, I dunno......

    I use to go to various race meetings as a CAMS steward.

    We were told that CAMS stewards should wear ties, so I wore a wee bow tie.

    Riding my motorbike to the various venues, I'd always make a big show, if stopped at traffic lights, of peering in my mirror and rearranging the bow tie.

    OK, so I am a poser, but I enjoyed it! :)

    OTOH at work, on one occasion where I was putting in a computer system for a finance house, I got hauled into the M.D.'s office, given the big lecture about how all their male workers had to wear ties and would I please do so.

    The discussion all went quiet when I offered to wear a tie if my hourly rate was increased by $5.

    Strangely enough, the subject was never raised again.
     
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  4. Reason I would wear one,

    [​IMG]

    As seen above, you can be lead in the direction by someone keen to help you with your 'corporate training' ... there are no nerves attached to the tie either..

    Other reasons to like them....


    15370041539_d4f8ce3782_b.


    They look smart................................... :whistle:
     
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  5. #6 Oldmaid, Mar 19, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 20, 2015
    No school girl outfit...slipping? What about Chrissie Amphlett in her hey day? She ricked a tie ;)
     
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  6. I was actually looking for a particular image 'had the image in mind' but couldn't find it without dragging the thread down further than I already have ... :rolleyes:
     
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  7. mininity-fantasia-elsa-frozen-font-b-Necklace-b-font-Tie-Jewelry-Shiying-Sexy-Accessories-font-b.
    Sexy-Tie.
    -Shipping-2013-New-School-Girl-Women-Top-Necktie-Tartan-Dress-Sexy-Cosplay-Costume-Fantasy-White.
    sexy-man-2194770.


    Any of those to your liking?
     
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  8. Na sorry...:) the guy looks like he has had implants...eeeewww!
    No 1 has had grapefruits implanted...number 2 looks like an alien is about to birth itself out of her pelvis (WTF is going in there??) and number three na looks like a Bay City Roller groupie... ;)
     
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  9. <sigh> The wee Bay City Roller groupie......

    I really wish folk could understand that tartan is NOT for ties.

    Kilts, skirts, trews, plaids....even, at a very lairy stretch, waistcoats, but NOT ties.
     
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  10. Aye, but they probably didn't go to a good school. ;-)
     
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  11. I thought ties were orinially used to distinguish homosexuals from hetero's?

    Other than that I see no use other than that of a '50 Shades of Grey' purpose.

    Oh, and to stuff into my wifes fat mouth when she snores in the vain hope she'll suffocate to death leaving no ligature marks.
     
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  12. Worked at a place that had a policy to shred all circuit diagrams rather than trashing. One guy working back alone late one night got his tie caught in it. When the shredder jammed rather than shut down it would reverse a little then start up again. Stop button was recessed down the side. It slowly dragged the bloke down to within a few inches of his neck before he managed to stop it. Nobody liked him much, used to steal food from the fridge.
     
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  13. did he later boast about something by sliding in front of the door on a way on a wheelie chair as you're giving a presentation with some sexy sax playing?
     
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  14. I have the weirdest boner right now...
     
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  15. Like the 'girl' in the tartan skirt?
     
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