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Problem with the trouble and strife after an off...

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' at netrider.net.au started by I am the Stig..., Jul 3, 2008.

  1. As some of you may have seen, apparently the Stig does crash occasionally… luckily, he had decent protective gear on and it saved his skin (in many ways) and he’s getting back to full recovery pretty quickly.

    Only problem is, the wife… :(

    She’s been good as gold about the whole thing, not freaking out when I staggered in through the door with a strange biker who helped me home :grin: , through the trips to hospital for x-rays, helping me with my socks :LOL: , hot water bottles, food etc. My problem was that I mentioned to her the other day I’d be able to ride it to the repair shop to get it fixed. She freaked out. Big time :cry: . Something tells me she doesn’t want me back on it at all and “if I respect her…". Apparently it's "not all about you" and there are "others to think about too" (like poor violet elizabeth with her cracked fenders). Poo :cry: . She’s mellowed out about me riding it the 2k's for repair now (I rode her home from the accident with a broken clavicle :twisted: ) but she still wants rid of it, either through a write off or by selling it… I don’t mind selling the bike in the short term, but deep down I know I’ll want to get another one in a few years time - but I don't want to do it against her wishes either....

    Has this happened to anyone else after an off? How do I reconcile both points of view and keep us both happy? Is there such a utopia :?: ? And no, a scooter won’t keep me happy!

  2. I'm afraid mate that this is something you and your good lady have to sort out..no one can really help here. Being honest and not beatinground the bush also cuts down on the crap.

    My wife was the opposite..... checked i was ok, said "your a dill" and went back to discussing which bike we are getting as an upgrade.

    i'm sure she's concerned too but she also realizes it is something that means a lot to me. we all make concessions and it IS a 2 wway street. It has to be!

    just my $0.02
  3. Mate, it comes down to caring for you so you should try give the same respect.

    Ive been (and in) the same scenario and at the end of the day you can try reach an agreement (i.e. only ride on weekends) or ifs shes completely against it, or ur not willing to negotiate then u gotta ask urself, is life really worth living with an unhappy wife? :?
  4. I sold a bike in order to fund an extended holiday overseas. When we came back my wife refused to allow me to buy another one. Didn't meet our (her) 'priorities' or our (her) 'ten year plan'.

    A divorce sorted that one out nicely. :p
  5. :LOL:
    Ya mind if I print this out ?
    Would go well on our fridge :p
  6. Be my guest :LOL:
  7. My advice is to grow some balls and reclaim your position as man of the house.

    YOU decide what's best for YOU.

    Climb back on the horse! :)
  8. And what happens if he decides a happy wife is what is better for him?
    Growing some balls doesn’t happy if he has to milk em himself.
    I think you should put your case, and maybe if riding means that much you have to make the decision about what is more important to you, but relationships are pretty important things (Then again so are motorbikes) so think carefully about it mate, because when you make the choice you are going to have to stick with it whichever way you go.
  9. Probably going to avoid the divorce option (I doubt I could afford a bike after that :LOL: !), kind of hoping for a nice, safe middle ground… but yes, growing some balls, living life without regret (our joint philosophy in life) and possibly giving her a while to get used to the idea… :wink: Maybe give it some time off, but thinking that the “as I’ve already got the gear might as well get another bike…†ploy might work down the track – either that or I will have to point out how stupid I looked on the bus this Monday :LOL: (Stig did London by public transport on Top Gear in case you’re wondering).

    Admittedly, I did go through the whole “survivor†emotional rollercoaster :oops: . I have already been back on the bike, but the wife seems to think of it as a distinct widowmaker rather than a healthy, fun pastime.

    Amazing how one little patch of gravel can cause so much heartache. Avoid at all costs. :cry:

    P.S. sound advice as always F-L - am not going to do anything stupid, although have seen a "learn hypnosis" course on the web that might work :LOL: !
  10. There's no help for it. You'll just have to sell it. I know I know, it will be hard but mate, you gots ta do what you gots ta do.

    When it comes time for a new one I suggest rsvp.com.au. In the mean time, enjoy the ride :)
  11. While I'm not up with how you crashed, you may be able to placate her with you're more aware of situations now or it was freakish in the first place. You'll pay more attention etc etc.

    When I crashed 50 weeks ago my wife was working OS. Once she understood I was ok she was happy for the repairs/sell & upgrade to happen.

    It wasn't until I walked out of the Tampa airport and she saw me that she really knew I was ok but while we were in the US we visited a few bike shops at her insistence :grin: .
    That's where I first sat on the Bandit. The rest is history as they say. :wink:
  12. I'm with Gronk on this one. Either she married a motorbike rider or she didn't. If she didn't, then you had better get used to living in a cage.
    If she did, then she'll want to do what's right for you. Maybe she just doesn't know what she said 'I do' to.
  13. Having been through this exact scenario some several years ago [ read dark ages early 80's :LOL: ]

    I had an off that reqd several days in hospital etc etc etc, and got the same statement from my wife to be.

    Since my bike was a right off and I was almost as well :? :LOL:
    I relented and let her think she got her way........ in time all wounds heal, and you will still have mates that ride ( for that quick blap around the block when she's not looking :twisted: )
    But you have to rub it in every time those said mates are around, you look all teary sitting on their bikes or make sure she can see you drooling etc.

    It took 3 short years before the day came, and I quote
    " If it means that much to you,as soon as we can afford one, you can get another bike"

    WOO HOO it was July and a big tax refund was only days away!
    less than a week from that small uttering, with a little finance to up the anti, and brand new CB1100RS was sitting in the driveway :twisted:

    From that day on there has always been a bike in the garage !
  14. Wow, it's so much easier having entered a relationship (some years ago) already a rider and with a clear statement early on: this is who I am, this is what I will always do. Mind you last time my partner and I spoke to a fellow and his wife, the fellow excited about bikes but she pointing out that she and his mother have refused to allow him one, my partner was fuming afterwards behind their back ("emasculated!" "Get some balls!") :LOL:

    You're case is of course different. Could you make a compromise on how often and where you ride, placating her fears and allowing you to get out there?
  15. And where do you fit into this?? Its not all about her either. Tell her If you can't ride a bike everyday then you have to ride her everyday instead (no headache excuses allowed as the bike wouldn't) She will soon tire of this and will buy a bike for you..
  16. Can I suggest that you immediately encourage her to think about riding herself??? The only thing that I can think of that will change things (apart from time, the guys are right there) is if she has a personal understanding of the joys of riding.

    And I'd ignore F-L's sage advice if I were you......
  17. you have to her make her understand how much you love riding (and her).
    I've had two bad stacks(not including track day off's) and my girlfriend knows that i'll be straight back on the bike when im healed.
    My girlfriend understands that i want to live a life without fear.
    She understands that riding is something more. she knows i need to hear the broken melody of a knee slider, or to feel the back kick out of line in 3rd on a back country road or to the need to discover that hidden 1000 rpm that appears suddenly when youre riding.

    She also understands i go crazy when i don't, :p
  18. On a motorcycle, fear is your friend! :p When I reflect, I sometimes feel very afraid! :)
  19. I have a wife that loves me and my bike, and respects my passion to ride it.
    just like i dont choose whether she can wear a skirt, or pants.
    any partner that attempts to force a rule upon you should be sacked IMO.
    i would only accept it, if a decision was reached under mutual agreement/compromise.

    to sum up, grow some balls.
  20. :WStupid: