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Poll: when would you want to know?

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by xoraak, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. straight away

  2. when stabilised at the hospital

    0 vote(s)
  3. after surgery

    0 vote(s)
  1. hi all, after some advise:

    Was at the scene of a nasty crash on wellington rd yesterday (at cardinia dam), best mate t-boned a ute who was allegedly doing a u turn accross double white lines with no indication.

    Rider is going to be ok- he's in for surgery today getting plates in his arm and then in again tomorrow for jaw/face surgery.

    Thing is, he had a pillion on the back when he hit- and the pillion is in pretty bad shape- had head trauma, surgery yesterday and is in an induced coma- won't know extent of the damage for about a week.

    Rider is asking lots of questions about the pillion, so far we're not giving details because he's already beating himself up about it...

    So question is, if you were the rider- when would you like to know?
  2. Too hard, mate. Too many variables. It would depend on how well I knew the person, whether related, etc etc.

    And, in my case, whether or not the person was a Christian.

    But, too hard, too many variables......
  3. Ok I'll bite - your decision on whether you'd want to know the status of your pillion passenger would depend upon whether or not he/she was a Christian? What on earth would that have to do with it? That seems a little odd :shock:
  4. Not at all. If the person was a Christian and in danger of dying, I would be less concerened because I believe as a Christian I know what lies after death and so would the person. Is that odd (not trying to argue, just explain)?
  5. When I know something's kept from me, I tend to imagine the worst. So if I was honestly told the basics and reassured my fears weren't happening, then that would put me at ease as much as possible.

    I'd tell the positives, whatever they might be. eg
    "no spinal damage, some internal bleeding that's now under control, only broken rib and arm... which is expected to heal well"
    Then you can honestly add that
    "they've had to induce him into a temporary coma while some swelling reduces in the head... The doctors won't say how he'll be after the coma, but you know how they are - have to cover themselves. Apparently swelling is normal with much more than a tap to the head"
    Then finish with another positive
    "Oh, and his left kidney has some bruising, which will is expected to recover no problem, and all other organs are unharmed." (for example)

    If you told me something kinda like that, yes, I'd worry about the head injury, but I'd at least know that I didn't have to worry about everything else - that it was being taken care of. Put a positive slant on it however you can, yet still informing of the big stuff.

    But that's me. I don't deal with unknowns very well. In general life, does your friend generally like to be told what he wants to hear? or cut the crap and tell him the truth?

    Oh, and reassure your mate that it's a part of riding - accidents do happen and he's NOT the one at fault!
  6. personally i would talk it through with their family members (of the rider) first.....they will have a a better idea of how htey react, the other thing is if you keep it from them and you keep changing the topic etc.... they will start to form their own opinion of what may of happened to their pillion and you could stress them just as much.....it's a horrible situation to be in.

    Best wishes to both rider and pillion and hope both recover fully.

    Regards Stewy
  7. Is that odd........ Yes very.

    i'd want to know strait away, if you dont 'know' your mind dreams up all sorts of nasty scenarios.
  8. No that side of it I can appreciate - I would have just assumed regardless of the person's faith that you would be concerned and want to know how they were doing - their faith shouldn't be relevant in this aspect. You don't even know whether they are in danger of dying or not, so where they might be heading if they die wouldn't factor in when you'd like to know the extent of their injuries.

    The initial statement kind of read like "I'd only care to know about the person's welfare if they are Christian - if they aren't then I could care less". Whilst I know this isn't what you meant, I didn't understand exactly what you were talking about with this as something that was factoring into your decision.
  9. +1 for talking about the positives. Have never been in that situation, but on natrual impulse I would seriously consider telling everything, just putting a positive slant on it (no "yadda")

    Shit news though.
  10. If I was asking after the other person and people weren't telling me anything or avoiding the issue, I'd assume it was really really bad.

    He'll be thinking: limbs missing, para/quadraplegic, severe brain-damage.

    -A head injury and an intentional induced coma would be a relief IMO.
  11. Not keeping them in the loop from the beginning is a bad idea. It focuses on them too much, will make them feel worse. Not to mention that not letting them in on whats going on will isolate them regarding the issue.
  12. I have just gone back and read the original post, and I apologise for my misunderstanding of the question and my subsequent answers.

    Short answer is, whatever the situation, I think I'd want to know how my passenger was, irrespective of whether the news is good or bad.

    I'd also want to know how the bike was, but then we all do that :).
  13. Just to add, agreeing with Phizog, I know its a dilemma on your part, but thinking from his perspective, he's probably thinking "Para or Quaddie, another "Netrider Stump", possibly even dead or near it."

    And onya Hornet for putting a stop to this going OT. It's a shituation I wouldnt want to be in, but its important to know what the opinion on the issue would be.
  14. Always better to know the worst than to not know.

    No one can deal with an unknown.
  15. thanks for your input everyone.

    Good to get a range of opinions- i'm going down after the surgery tonight to have a chat with his family, and we'll probably let him know the basics about the pillions injuries- good advice foccusing on the positive points.

    A bit more background:
    The pillion is his housemate and was the first time he'd been on a bike :oops:

    another case of wrong place and wrong time.
  16. I hate this sort of shit. The thought of someone making decisions about my mental state and doing or not doing things for "my own good" shits me to tears.

    Let him know whats going on.
  17. Tell the person what you can without over dramatising it.

    Induced comas are nothing these days as it's just another tool used by medics to make things easier for them & the patient on the road to recovery.

    Telling people nothing or missinformation just makes it worse or they assume the worst.

    An example is when a helicopter turns up at Phillip Island after an off at the track. In most cases the patient does not have life threatening injuries but when you consider the fact an Ambulance has to drive all the way to Dandenong, hand over the patient and then drive back it's just more efficient to use an egg beater to pick the patient up rather than leave the entire island uncovered or bringing in a crew on overtime to cover for it. Most people in the sport now realise the above because people like me keep reminding them BUT you still get spectators assuming the worse and then it gets posted on the net and all of a sudden a person with a simple leg fracture is on deaths door because he was choppered out......
  18. No, it is not odd, i guess you have to believe to understand maybe, we know there is something better after all this, all the hurt and pain will be taken away.
  19. Paul, I think what happens at a motorsport event is a lot different from the OP's scenario, though I have seen the same thing happen too. At an event there's all sorts of legal and insurance issues that preclude commentators from telling the crowd what's REALLY happened; I know this from my own commentating days in speedway.
  20. that is one depressing poll, after having to stay home all day alone with this awsome weather this has really toped it off :(,
    if this was me i would want to know right away, I don't think i could sit there & just wander if my mate was hurt or not it would eat me up inside. I would also like to know the ute drivers name so i could pay him a nice head caving visit with a few mates