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Politically incorrect. Read at your peril!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Tweetster, Aug 17, 2009.

  1. Police in London found a bomb outside a mosque.
    They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

    Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...
    One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.

    During an overnight lashing by high winds an African family in Birmingham was killed by a falling tree.
    A spokesman for the Birmingham Council said 'We didn't even know they were living up there'.



    Asian Minorities in the UK have complained that there is not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown five times a week now.

    I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger-haired kid, with two friends?

    I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.

    When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
    Took her out with one punch.

    My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed. "It's worth spending money on good speakers like Bose," he told me.

    A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he Was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... They are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
    "Curious about Sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

    I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
    How could anyone stoop so low?

    I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
    I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
     
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  2. To hell with PC, there's some corkers there!!
     
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  3. Very good :grin:
     
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  4. All very good apart from the sound advice one, there's a saying in the industry "Bose blows, no highs, no lows!"

    Carry on. :LOL:
     
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  5. Tweetster,

    I was going to append this to your 'con-descending' thread, but as it is quite non PC, I'll put it here....

    If any of you are of Greek descent (like Con :roll: ), you might want to move onto the next thread.....



    What's the difference between a Greek woman and a catfish?
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    One's got whiskers and smells.... and the other is a fish.
     
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  6. *LOL*.... it fits right in here jazzfan!!.... :wink: .. very topical!
     
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  7. Oh well, may as well add this one, seeing its all 'incorrect'

    What do you call a Lebanese guy in a police line up?.
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    'Wazziem'

    Ha Har!!

    Cam
     
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  8. What's the difference between a Yetti and a Russian woman??
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    One is 7 foot tall, covered in hair and stinks like shit and the other doesn't exist.
     
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  9. What do you call a drunken Lebbo?




























    Hamid.

    What do you call a VERY drunken Lebbo?





























    Mohammed.

    What do you call an educated Lebbo?



























    Asif!
     
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  10. Jewish dilemma?
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    Free ham
     
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  11. ^^ Why do they have big noses??
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    Air is free.
     
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  12. Whaddya call a Maori wearing a suit?
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    The defendant
     
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  13. Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.

    The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing.

    "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now."
    "Yes, I remember him as a baby." says the other mother cheerfully.
    "He's a martyr now though." mum confides.
    "Oh, so sad dear!" says the other.

    "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21."
    "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born."
    "He's a martyr too." says mum quietly.
    "Oh, gracious me." says the other.

    "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18." she whispers.
    "Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."
    "He's a martyr also." says mum, with tears in her eyes.

    After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"
     
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  14. hey guys, if your joke is borderline (or over the line) disgusting/likely to cause complaints do not post it. "non pc" is ok but not outright rude.
     
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  15. Why do Italian men grow moustaches....


    So they can look like their mothers
     
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  16. What's the fastest thing on 2 wheels?


    A Jew riding through Germany on a pushbike.
     
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  17. muslim_women.

    ... my wife is on the left... no!.. hang on, my wife is second from the right, no wait a minute, her sister is on the right and my wife is third from the left..... er.... or is that her mother??.....
     
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