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Political Correctness....

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Envy-t, Jan 7, 2009.

  1. Tripped over this little gem on another forum...thought I'd share......


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

    She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AUSTRALIAN.
    She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
    She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
    She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
    She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
    She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
    She does not GET YOU EXCITED-She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
    She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
    She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
    She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
    She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
    She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
    She is not a *beep* - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
    She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
    She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
    She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

    He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
    He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
    He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
    He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
    He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
    He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
    He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
    He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
    He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
    He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT
    He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN


     
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  2. This has to be the best one :)

    Thanks for sharing!
     
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