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Political caryard

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Greydog, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. If the ABC was Relevant (Part 44) (a John Clarke, Bryan Dawes skit)

    (The Customer)
    [Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock. He is approached by JOHN]

    John: Morning! Looking for a new car?

    Bryan: Nope. Prime Minister, actually.

    John: You’re the third one this morning. Anything in mind?

    Bryan: You know....... nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.

    John: You mean like a Howard?

    Bryan: Yeah....a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.

    John: So.... you used to have one?

    Bryan: Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model – don’t know why I got rid of him --biggest mistake I’ve ever made…

    John: What happened?

    Bryan: Traded him in for a Kevin 07.

    John: Big mistake…

    Bryan: Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.

    John: How was the Kevin 07?

    Bryan: Came with a $900 factory rebate – that was good.

    John: Anything else?

    Bryan: Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.

    John: Didn’t stick around for long did it?

    Bryan: Nah – had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.

    John: What was the problem?

    Bryan: Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.

    John: Whatcha got now?

    Bryan: It’s a Gillard-Brown.

    John: The hybrid?

    Bryan: Yeah. The Eco-drive system – not a good idea. An engine that can’t deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse…

    John: Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason – that’s the one?

    Bryan: The Fustercluck model.

    John: The only one they made, Bryan. Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery – but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?

    Bryan: Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.

    John: So that’s why you’re here?

    Bryan: That’s right. I’m stuck with a government that's wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the “Cash for Clunkers” scheme?

    John: Join the queue brother.
    • Like Like x 3
  2. way too true