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Please Share Some Advice

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' started by Jumunji, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Hey all first off let me say if this is the wrong part of the forum move me along :).
    Here's my little story I'm 18 years old from Sydney, I've always had an interest in motorbikes but never been in a financial position to partake in the interest (lived in South Africa for the first 13 years of my life).
    Recently I've gotten to a point where I can comfortably afford a new bike myself and have the funds to maintain and keep the bike on the road.

    Keeping a long story short, my dad rode bikes for a number of years as a kid and as an adult, he had a passion for ducati's and owned a gorgeous Monster and Multistrada. However Driving home one afternoon he gave a little too much acceleration and the bike threw him a tank slap. He wasn't hurt too bad, only damage to his knees.

    I've now come to a point where I want to own a bike but his past experience with motorcycles is stopping him from letting me get one at all. The mere speaking of a motorbike is answered with a joke about "not while you're under my roof". I know this has been asked countless times and I'm sure you're all sick of reading about it but any advice would be really appreciated. I'm being honest when I say I'm not getting a bike to race or zip through traffic, I own a modified car and get enough joy out of spirited driving from that. I want a bike because I just love the feeling of being on two wheels, you feel connected with everything you do and it just feels like a great way to have fun. I have done my stay upright course to try and show him I can be mature and get the right things done.

    Keep in mind I totally understand that he is just worried and he knows the dangers of the roads, but I want a chance to show him I can be mature and safe.

    Any advice is highly appreciated.

  2. If it's your cash you're spending then go for it.
    My wife said if I get a bike she's leaving, but I've had 2 so far and still can't get rid of her.
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  3. I understand your dad being worried about his babies safety. That's what good fathers do but there comes a time when he needs to let u go to run your own life. If he absolutely won't budge on the issue then I would do it in secret and get your license and maybe get a bike and stash it at a mates house or something.
  4. Sit down and discus this with him. But prep beforehand so you can 'make a case' to convince him. If you can afford to do this on your own I assume you may be working? This will already show you are responsible. Maybe add you'll do some advanced training, not ride in rain etc . Remind him that this island is way safer than South Africa to drive in.
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  5. I would appeal to the fact that your dad once had these exact desires and I'm sure had many naysayers around him at the time. The incident he had, which cruelled his love of the sport, appears to be completely his fault - he pushed the limit and couldn't deal with the ensuing consequences. The bottom line was that he made a choice. Had he not made that choice, to twist the right hand at that time, he would most likely be still riding today and you'd be off to the hills together. I believe all you need to establish with him is trust in your ability to make good decisions in risky situations. Growing up in South Africa, I'm sure you have lots of examples!

    It's all relative. I rock-climbed and flew paragliders for several years so my wife and daughters knew 1) I had a bit of an adrenalin addiction, but 2) I knew when to push it and when not to, plus 3) I knew when to walk away when the risk outweighed my love for the sport.

    The parent thing will never go away. I recently got back into riding after a loooooong time away. I dropped in unexpectedly on my Mum a week or so after getting the bike. When I left, she made me promise to text her when I got home. I'm 51!!
    (And yes, I did text her)

    Oh, and the advice above about advanced courses is great. Plus, of course you will be getting the best protective gear you can afford and will wear it EVERY time you ride, yes? :)
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  6. Yep natural paternal reaction. Remind him that he did the same thing and felt the same urges, the apple never falls far from the tree and that you will decide your own destiny just as he did.
    Try and do it with his support but stand your ground, he won't evict you. Ask him to get involved in choosing the bike and gear and tell him you have discovered this awesome place called Netrider that is full of awesome information for the new rider and awesome riders to help you along the way with practice sessions and learner rides.
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  7. Wow thanks guys, Some really really great replies with some things I've never really thought of. Ofcourse riding gear will always be worn I cringe seeing people ride around without gear on. I just wanna be on a bike I'll conform to any rules he has in place gladly but I just wanna be on two wheels.
    Huge thanks again guys, I'll keep you informed!
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  8. Good luck mate, you sound like you're well spoken and articulate so hopefully you'll create a good, strong argument and get the result you seek. Maybe sweeten the deal by hinting that you may actually let him go for a spin on your new wheels as well.... :sneaky:

    And riding here is nothing like riding in SA - I know 'cos I survived about 14 years of it back in the "good old" days where speed limits were not policed and the "breakfast run" (ask your dad) was a joy to behold but bloody crazy in hindsight. Riding here is generally (yes not always) more controlled and driver skills (although widely thought to be appalling) are way better than in SA. I was back there a few weeks ago and I don't think I'd choose to ride there, its insane on the roads...
  9. JumunjiJumunji as mum to a son who was hellbent on riding from little, I tried to very gently point out that it was something that needed to be considered very carefully, but I would never impose my fears on my sons no matter how much I want to. Because it's their life experience and denying them would just build resentment. One rides, one doesn't. It's their choice.
    It also gave me the excuse I needed to get out there and do something that I've been secretly wanting to do since I was 19.

    It's tricky and depends on your dad's real reasons. I had a moment last week that should have seen me hang up my helmet and insist he do the same too. But I just made sure I shared the experience with him so he doesn't find himself in the same situation. He also shares his stories too and that way we are learning doubly fast.

    It sounds like you're doing all the right things to show him that you are being responsible and I hope it works out for you.
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  10. Was that moment on the new steed GoldenberriGoldenberri ? If so was it a "whoops this goes faster" moment? Or not at all related to the change in bike?
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  11. chillibuttonchillibutton it was the new lowered steed which I told my mechanic felt a bit 'twitchy' up front. I hit a deep depression at dusk and got the 'speed wobbles' at 100kpm. I'd been scanning for kangaroos and didn't see it until it grabbed the front wheel. According to my mechanic (who is now raising the bike) I did all the right things and came out of it ok.

    I get it back today. Itching to take it for a burl!!!
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  12. Glad you're ok, assume you resisted the urge to fight the bars and just let her wobble back to where she wanted to be (i.e. upright)?
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  13. "got the 'speed wobbles' at 100kpm "

    Er, kph eh?
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  14. #14 Goldenberri, Apr 23, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2015
    Correct chillibuttonchillibutton I raised myself up slightly on the pegs and just let it sort itself out. Mechanic did ask me not to wait too long before fixing the issue, but I got an SOS call from a friend in crisis (he has about one a month lol). EDIT.....so I just went to meet him in the next town instead of just taking the bike home. ......I must need another coffee or something.....

    Yes drjay555drjay555 should have been kph.
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  15. Going by some of the responses here me and my wife are not your typical parents.

    We gave our sons the choice. "We'll help you with either a bike or a car, not both. Your choice". The eldest picked a bike. He's now 26 and only held a drivers licence for 2 years (thanks to the Army). The youngest chose car (it's hard to carry a bass guitar and amp on a bike), but still hasn't got his licence or a car (he's 20 this year).

    Although I must point out that both boys have been pillioning on the road since they could reach the pegs and around the back yard before that. And they both remember the aftermath of my 3 offs.

    Personally, if it's your money do what you want. If it's your dads money, sorry you're stuck with his decision until you can do it on your own.
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  16. But seriously, Jumanji, with your keenness you should enrol your dad in as well. I am 61, my son is 31. About four years back first he then I got our licences and got back into motorcycling after a long break (me after about 30 yrs). We both went together an did CSS level 1-3. We've done track days as well. He is a far far better rider than I will ever be but we have done several long trips together. Today our love for motorbikes bonds us like never before. (The wives have learnt to accept it, his actually supports his craze and rides two up with him). We've spent a lot of our time (and money) on developing this, focussing on safety then enjoyment.
    Tell this story to your dad in your own way. All the best. Cheers
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  17. Some suggestions and ideas for you.

    Firstly, you really need to find out what it is about riding that worries your Dad. He may be worried about your road awareness. I personally think about how I was as an 18 year old, and how I am now, and I am happy I didn't get my bike licence until I was 35.

    Maybe it is just his bad experience. If that is it, then you need to reassure him that a) you will get lessons, and b) you will learn from his mistakes.

    I was happy for my son to ride because he was keen to buy his own gear, and learn from both myself and get professional lessons. He had also been driving for a coup,e of years first, so his traffic awareness was higher than someone who just got his licence. He no longer rides as he has been concussed badly at footy a few times, and his doctor advised that even a minor off with head hitting the road could cause him memory issues. No footy either anymore.

    Reassurances are helpful, but remember that once out of sight, he will worry that you do everything 18 year olds do.

    I would suggest that you don't go behind your Dads back. If you break his trust, he will struggle to trust you with other things. Talk to him, but respect his right to say no while you live at his house. Ultimately, until you live in your own home, you are beholden to him for your housing.
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  18. Hey guys, First off another big thanks for the idea and support :D. To answer a few of the comments, the money would entirely be coming out of my pocket. I work for my own money and pay for everything myself, haven't had something over $40 paid for me since I was 16, makes you appreciate things more ;).
    That being said yes it is my money to do with what I want but I'd never buy a bike without his consent. It would be wrong and I know better than to do that, I'd love to try and get him involved but I feel like he never would. Money and history would keep him for getting back into the sport/hobby.
    We are supposed to be going out for a beer soon I'll bring up all the points you guys have raised and if we have luck then maybe some of you should get some 6 packs ;).

    Thanks Again
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  19. Just do it. Mum said the same to me after I had a few decent stacks. You're never getting a bike again etc. so I went out and bought a bike without her knowing, not much she can do now. It's either she accepts the she has a son who rides or she doesn't have a son who rides. What's done is done.
  20. Just out of interest sake I'm based out of the Hills Sydney, If I do get a bike anyone that would mind helping me out with some mentoring?