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Personal crash limericks

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. Well, it must be time to poke the Netrider Limerick Monster in his cage....

    Just on your crashes, OK? (Or if you wish to poke fun at someone else's :LOL:).

    "A wombat", he said, "Brought me down"
    "Or else I'd be still be around town."
    But we've searched all the Spur
    And can find us no fur
    Just some Hornet parts, scattered around...
  2. Whilst riding along to my work,
    My bike got hit by a jerk.
    Didn't look where she was going,
    Now my bike it needs towing,
    And Christ, my foot it does hurt!!!

  3. The excitement at Homebush was stark,
    So we went for a ride in the dark!
    I hit the tarmac,
    Rode as if at the track!
    Then dropped it in a Maccas car-park :(
  4. While mildy upset that I binned-her
    Was glad, no-one else, did I injure.
    He prevented my pass,
    And I ran up his ass.
    That's the one time I caught Donkey's Ninja :grin:
  5. And THAT, my freinds, is how it's done!
  6. when i said i could wheelie
    the boys all asked "really?"
    so i throttled and tried
    my front wheel went high
    but down she came hard i hurt more than a feeling
  7. have you seen my helmet? i said to my pants
    they just stared right back at me, more than a glance
    fine i'll just squid it, don't give me that eye
    when i binned it the road chaffed more than my thigh
    that'll teach me to u-turn in shorts with no hands.
  8. lol i know i'm too lazy to stress patterns....

    yes i stuffed up my limerick, i'm sorry
    my flow wasn't right not to worry
    but who knew ktulu would bin his own scoot dude
    i said to watch out for that lorry!
  9. i hope you enjoyed that i sure as hell did
    and i hope with that stack son you had on a lid
    but if you must race, just make sure you full face
    coz trucks f'n hurt if you squid

    you've unleashed a monster, the chains off the beast
    i took you as pillion, you shit on my seats
    but when we done cornered, you leaned yourself forward
    and now you have road in your teeth
  10. Motorbike training's a farce.
    Here's something you won't learn in class:
    Engaging a wombat
    In hand to hand combat's
    A right f*cken pain in the arse.

    Now usually I'm more the type
    To throw down a joke than a gripe;
    It's just not that funny
    To sit on the dunny
    And weep as you crimp off a pipe.

    But don't think I'm whingeing at you,
    'Cause the moment I ditched it I knew
    That this pain's just a tax
    On the towering stacks
    Of fun I've had, one wheel or two!
  11. GO LOZ!!!

    *note to people*
    see what happens when you can sing, you can make songs more better english speak he does good.

    a wombat, a pipe and an emu,
    they came up to loz yes they seen you!!!
    they found you amusing yes they gave you a bruising
    and i hope with that pipe they don't clean you... :?
  12. ah, you didn't disappoint, Loz :wink:.

    If a wombat sets out to unseat'ya
    Then he almost always will beat'ya
    For although he's quite dumb
    His iron-clad bum
    Means he's quite a dangerous creature

    C'mon lads and lassies, THAT'S the rhyming scheme and metre for a limerick; it's not hard....
  13. Lots of wanna be Belvederes here !!

    You know, Burt Newton's mate on GMA !!

  14. Heh heh I was a hanger-onnerer of a mate's band once. The lead singer was Belvedere's boyfriend. Nice bloke, could have had any chick in the bar if he'd wanted 'em...!
  15. I couldn't pen a rhyme if I tried,
    No accidents at all from my ride,
    I'm sorry to not comply,
    but reading your posts, I cannot lie,
    I have laughed so hard I have cried

  16. Everyone said when I turned forty
    That I'd behave and stop being naughty
    Im now forty one
    And having such fun
    On a bike which is quite sporty

    Little known of my grandeur
    I noticed when I scanned y'awl
    When once I was an outsider
    Now telling limericks on Netrider
    Y'awl now know Im quite a raconteur
  17. Ha ha ha ha...I heard the truth of the story today
  18. With confidence and bravado he sped up the pass.
    Just minutes after attending sunday mass.
    With God on his side
    He went for a slide.
    Fortunately his suspenders survived amongst the broken glass . . .

  19. err, thanks, I guess :LOL: