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One for the Linux geeks

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Jul 29, 2005.

  1. Bill gates is driving his Porsche across a hot and deserted part of California, when for no apparent reason it breaks down
    So he calls Road Service
    "This is Bill Gates, you know, THE Bill Gates? My Porsche has just broken down"
    "Where are you, Mr Gates"
    "I don't know, just on a highway in California, it's hot and I need help. What should I do?"
    "Close all the windows and start again"

  2. See you sceptics, Hornet does have a sense of humour :D
    It's an interesting topic though, maybe we can have a Linux thread without all the red herrings. At least that way those who have an interest can get involved and those that don't can avoid it.
    One of you geeks like to start a new one ?
  3. hmmmm - headless linux and there are no "windows"
    I suppose you could export the x11-server-session to another terminal with xconf services installed to see the windows "that need closing"

    Oh - wait.....was this supposed to be a joke?

    sudo /etc/init.d/x11-common start
  4. Could you translate that last message into something resembling English,please.
  5. Damn. ...I thought the punch line was to the effect of..... "OK, switch it off and then switch it back on again."
  6. Well that's the only version of the joke I've ever heard, anyway, but I'm sure there could be others :LOL:
  7. the porsche stopped vecause of embedded linux crashed
  8. I can read it as Bill was driving a convertible with no windows. And needs to install the windows first to follow the advice from rescue :)
  9. Here's what Gates actually thinks of Windows usability:
    Someone decided to trash the one part of Windows that was usable? The file system is no longer usable. The registry is not usable. This program listing was one sane place but now it is all crapped up.​
    But that is just the start of the crap. Later I have listed things like Windows XP Hotfix see Q329048 for more information. What is Q329048? Why are these series of patches listed here? Some of the patches just things like Q810655 instead of saying see Q329048 for more information.​
    What an absolute mess.​
    Moviemaker is just not there at all.​

    Back in Microsofts heyday, every new prospective product was subjected to the billg review, which meant that products like the one he's ranting about above tended not to see the light of day.

    That hasn't been the case for a long time now, and it shows. Gates never had Jobs' impeccable taste or maniacal focus on user experience, but he was a lot better than many folks give him credit for. And he was nowhere near as much of an asshole as Jobs.

    Edited to add: it's worth reading Donkey over on folklore.org to see what the original Mac team thought of their contemporaries at Microsoft.
  10. But still an arsehole nevertheless.... What he did to Lotus and Wordperfect was unconscionable.
  11. What did he do, exactly?

    My understanding was that Lotus flew themselves into a cliff by insisting on writing 123 in assembly and supporting XT-class boxen, when MS went with C and 286 as a minimum.

    Happy to be educated though ... my knowledge of the early days of MS is a bit sparse.
  12. In the late eighties MS & IBM partnered up to write OS/2. MS was telling everyone that OS/2 was "destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time". Lotus and Wordperfect (and everyone else) took MS at its word and jumped on the OS/2 bandwagon. Funny how there was never an OS/2 version of Excel or Word.

    OS/2 was a failure partly because it was originally written for the brain-dead 286 and released just as the 386 came out.

    Meanwhile Windoze 2.something was released and caught everyone with their pants down. And even as Lotus and WP tried to write windows versions MS didn't publish the entire API
  13. I stand corrected, apparently there was an OS/2 version of Excel & Word
  14. Another killer for OS/2 was MS licencing if you dared to offer a OS2 preload on your hardware MS would sting you with much higher royalty costs for Windows. It was even difficult sometimes to get OS/2 preloaded on to IBM hardware as the OS and hardware groups were separate and what was good for one wasn't nessecarly good for the other.

    What was cool however was getting OS/2 error messages out of NT4, because they'd still not replaced the OS/2 code with their own yet.
  15. That's pretty harsh business practice. Mind you I shouldn't complain; if MS hadn't made such a mess of things, there probably wouldn't have been anywhere near the motivation for Linux, *BSD, OSX, etc. ;)
  16. Another interesting (unrelated) story is the war between Sinclair and Acorn in the UK during the early 80's.

    There was a movie made about it - Micro Men or something like that. The bloke that plays Bilbo Baggins was in it.
  17. i wish I had a Porsche with or without windows
  18. Be careful what you wish for.

    Some Porsches make motorbikes look pretty safe.