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Office Dares...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Lt. Dan, May 13, 2007.

  1. One Point Dares

    1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

    2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

    3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

    4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

    5. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

    6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

    7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."

    8. Don't use any punctuation.

    9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.

    10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

    Three Point Dares

    1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

    2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

    3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.

    5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.

    7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.

    8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

    Five Point Dares

    1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

    2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

    3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".

    4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

    5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.

    6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.

    7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

    8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

    9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

    10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.

    11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

    12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

    14. Sign or pp all letters with your initials and a swastika.

    15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight". :LOL:
  2. gee, thanks, i racked up 12 points, but now i dont have a job...
  3. do multiple photocopiers count? there's 16 where I work :wink:
  4. ROFL I like that last one, piss funny haha! :LOL:
  5. My friend did the "in accordance with the prophecy" one at highschool. For the entire day he did it, and it really annoyed this chick in our class, and in the last class she came up to him and said "I'll pay you $30 if you don't say that prophecy crap any more" and i said to him "i'll pay you $30 if you keep goin on with the dare". He ended up with $60. He didn't actually talk at all for the rest of the day.
  6. Heres another one, you can work out how many points its worth.

    If you have to answer the phone at work, ask the person calling you what there credit card number is, no matter what they're calling about. For example,

    Caller: Hi I was wondering what time you were closing today
    You: Ok, do you have your credit card details handy?

  7. Haha nice.

    One I used to do at work when on the phone with someone was to cycle through different accents throughout the conversation :rofl: