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Now these are the sort of political candidates we need.

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by TonyE, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. When it comes to elections you have to admire the sort of loopy candidates that the Poms can trot out. (and occasionally you even get principled ones as well).


    Former Conservative MP David Davis wants to make a point about principles. But in the process he faces a showdown with Mad Cow-Girl, Miss Great Britain and a man who once claimed to be the son of God.

    Mr Davis, 59, resigned as shadow home secretary last month in protest against government plans to extend pre-charge detention for terrorism suspects to 42 days from 28. On Thursday he will try to regain his seat in a by-election.

    But in the absence of a Labour Party challenger, Mr Davis faces a run-off against a motley crew of opponents for the Haltemprice and Howden seat, at least one of whom actually supports him.

    Lord Biro, real name David Bishop, is leader of the Church of the Militant Elvis Party which was founded in 2001 and seeks to "overthrow corporate capitalist state which turned Elvis, a man of immense talent, into a fat media joke".

    "If elected our candidate would like to see Cherie Blair detained indefinitely in a convent to stop her having sex with Tony and telling us all the boring details," the party's manifesto says.

    Mad Cow-Girl is the candidate of the Monster Raving Loony Party, which was founded by Screaming Lord Such in 1963, and says "vote for insanity, you know it makes sense".

    The party has made a name for itself by proposing wacky policies in elections -- it once suggested Europe's butter mountain be turned into a ski slope.

    Mad Cow-Girl is in favour of detaining suspected terrorists "until proved safe". She says that if she became prime minister she would turn the Isle of Wight into a giant penal colony as a solution to overcrowding in British prisons.

    One resident of the Isle of Wight who may not be in favour of such a policy but who will also be contesting Davis's seat is David Icke, a former professional goalkeeper and BBC presenter who once declared himself the son of God.

    Mr Icke believes Earth is controlled by "reptilian humanoids", such as US President George W Bush and former Prime Minister Tony Blair, and will stand despite stating in his manifesto that he wants Mr Davis to win.

    On the other hand, Miss Great Britain 2008, Gemma Garrett, is in favour of 42-day pre-charge detention for terror suspects and wants to see more financial support for British soldiers.

    "By getting more beautiful women to Westminster we believe that we can engage voters and bring about the changes we really want to see," Ms Garrett says in her manifesto.

    Results of the by-election are expected on Friday morning. Bookmakers William Hill are offering odds of 12/1 that Davis will regain his seat.