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Not feeling 100% - relationship stuff

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Karaman, May 8, 2007.

  1. So ive been feeling bummed the past couple of days ever since i found out that there may be a chance that my gf has been cheating on me....its complicated so i'll try and explain, but fcuk me if i dont feel like a detective! :cool:

    First things first, her parents doesnt know about us, but her mum has met me. Second, im 19, shes 16. Parents reckon im too old so we've tried to keep it secret from them for the past 5 months.

    I've had my suspicisions for about a month now because a friend of mine talked to her mum about me, and her mum mentioned that she already has a bf (different name). So when i heard this from my friend i thought....hmm, ive heard that name before in the background when i called her up. Friend of hers asked if that was the guy (not me), she replied no and then a slight pause before her friend in the background said "oh....ok". So this is where it started.

    I asked her about this guy and she said it was an ex-bf that shes pretending to go out with so her mum isnt so suspicious of us. Now ive found out that shes been seen with this guy and are very "public" about what they do...with each other.

    Last piece of evidence! I only see her on sundays now, due to the fact that i work late during the week and cant get to my karate lessons (yes i forgot to mention that lol), so i only see her at state training. I always try and see if i can call her up some time during the week, i set a time and she says thats fine, ill talk to u then. I'd call up and she wouldnt pick up. Next day i get a message saying that her phone was taken off her (strict parents!). Now usually thats fine because its happened before, but she has it taken off her for a week, not just overnight. But this has been happening more often now whenever i ask to call her up. I think shes using it as an excuse, what do u think my dear Watson?

    So, i devised a plan to comfirm my suspicisions. I wrote her an email (since she apparently never wants to talk) asking whats really going on and if we still have anything and that im losing feelings for her. I thought to myself, if she replies in the way ive predicted, then theres something going on. Guess what, she does and its the same thing she writes everytime "Im sorry i got my phone taken off and i want u to know that i will always love no matter what happens" ....bullsh!t is what i call it because she didnt answer my question! So i wrote back "You still didn't answer my question.... and if your serious about anything you'll tell me whats going on 'in person' because i know more than u think." Hopefully this will scare the bejesus out of her if she is cheating on me, and if she replies properly then she might be telling the truth, but i just dont trust her anymore.

    Sorry for the long post but i need advice on this...does it seem like shes cheating on me? Ive told my mates and they say the evidence is stacked up against her, but then again, this is bias evidence.
  2. Mate, she's young and so are you. If you guess right, its not the end of the world. Move on (and up) if you think you need to. You may never know the full story and it will kill you living with suspicion. Trust me. I know.
    Hope you can work it out but you both have a lot of life left.
  3. Who knows. You will never really know unless you catch her yourself. However, if you go about trying to catch her then the relationship is over anyway.

    She seems very distant from what you are saying and maybe it is time to put some pressure on her to tell her parents, or make sure she is available to go out with you at some stage.

    I say: Your 19, time to move on!!
  4. Mate, grow up get a fukin life.
    Go and find a chick who is over 18 and can do adult stuff with ya like go out and have fun, pubs, clubs, weekends away.
    If you were dating my daughter when she was 16 and you were 19 you'd still be in hospital being put back together, be thankfull she hasnt told dad.

    But then my daughter was busy being 16 when she was 16 and not dating some dick head 19yo.
  5. Mate, only advice I can give from past experience with 16 yr old girls, they change their feelings for partners (i.e saying they love someone) almost as quickly as they change knickers. Sometimes it's a mutual thing because they are tied in 1:1 if you get me. I can only offer this, it's hard to expect a 16 yr old person to want AND hold a (long term) relationship. Cut your losses (so to say) and move on before you get REALLY hurt. Sorry for sounding blunt but sometimes that's the best way. She may "settle down" in regards to relationship wise but I wouldn't expect that for a while yet. Sorry if I have "hit a nerve" or whatever with this advice.
  6. I'm sorry - but it doesnt sound great :cry:

    I may be completely wrong - but it sounds like she's happy getting attention elsewhere - especially if you only see her once a week...it doesnt mean that she doesnt care about you - but if you can only offer her one day and a few phone calls, and someone else has been paying her attention - then her eyes may have wandered...
  7. Thanks for the feedback undii (dw u didnt hit a nerve :p) and geordielass, you guys are probably right and i should of seen it coming.
  8. Sounds dodgy in less than ideal relationship conditions anyway.

    I say break it off, then commence binge drinking, and jogging.
  9. Yeah, ive been sceptical about where we were going for a while now. Its over either way.
  10. +1 get rid of her
    doesnt sound like she is worth it cause
    -she is 16 and u cant expect commitment
    -If she wanted to see/talk to u and or talk to u she would find a way
    (no phone use VOIP, no time sneak over at night afta school wat eva)

    I got a GF with lets say difficult parents we both studdy have jobs resposiblities ect i still manage to see her

    The absolute worst thing u can do ATM is say well ill just give her another chance and hang around waiting. (Been there done that dont recommend it)

    Just sounds like she is tryig to ween u of slowly and not hurt ur feeling

    Tell her to fcuk off then go get drunk for a week and u will be right. neva know while ur drunk u might even run into someone
  11. Shes 16 still in highschool, this will never last..

    Go out and find a 18 yr old at a club, you will have more fun.

  12. Send her round to my place, I'll sort her out.
  13. I'm an old fart who has seen a bit of life, and as I see it, it's simple.

    Do you trust her? I'm not talking about 'evidence' I'm talking about trust. You can't trust somebody 'a bit', any more than you can be 'a bit' pregnant, you are or you aren't. If you can't ask yourself that question and be certain of the answer....walk away.
  14. No i dont trust her...anymore, use to but since that phone call its gone down hill.
  15. Then take control and put her behind you. There's a big old world out there, and at your age you have only just scratched the surface.....
  16. :roll: NEXT! FFS, She's a 16 year old girl, trade her in for a woman. My 1st long term girlfriend was 17 when we started going out, compulsive liar, and chronic bullsh*t artist. \:D/ But goddam the sex was good :-k come to think of it was only reason I stayed as long as I did :grin:
  17. Go out and find many 18 yr olds, preferably at once! :p
  18. Is this your first serious girlfriend dude? Sounds like it might be. First relationships are always hard, always seems like the end of the world if things are going right, which by your description is the case. Pretending her ex is her current to make her mum happy?? There's some warning signs right there dude! Eject eject!!
  19. Ha ha ha, I hear ya! My first gf was when I was 15. She had huge t!ts. That's all that mattered when you were 15!! Ignored the fact she treated me like @rse for ages then woke up to myself eventually!
  20. Yeah im a late seed :p