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Nope. All you idiots have nothing on me.

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by bretto61, Mar 12, 2011.

  1. Seriously I make George Costanza look like an amateur.
    I moved into a new house this week. And well dropped my guts relationship wise. Ha ha. My life has pretty much been controlled by other and commitments the last decade. I've been seeing this lady for eight years. On and off. As I said my life has been controlled by others and I could not fairly really commit to her. So anywho I had an epiphany last weekend and decided stuff it. And moved In with her. It was my last chance and I think she really meant it this time. It was no big thing as I am always here and have been coming here for eight years. I guess I am not big on commitment relationship wise anyway. We are looking at buying a house together anyway, so I guess now was as good a time as any.
    I got home from work last night. It was late afternoon. The end of summertime in the tropics. The sky was getting pretty dark and the day was starting to cool. I could see a storm way out on the ocean. But the air was completely still.
    I thought to myself a beer with some prawns and blue swimmer crab. The first footy game of the season was on in two hours on the TV. Perfect.
    I warmed up the Viffer and my lady jumped on. Off to the wharf where the trawlers come in.
    It was still about 26C and just perfect for a ride in the jeans, gloves and a T shirt.
    And it was.
    We went for a walk along the beach and the sea was really calm. The lights on the buildings were all coming on and reflecting off the ocean. Nirvana.
    The cruise home was a kinda freaky tantric threesome between my lady and my bike. How can a night get any better. Seriously it was perfect.
    The prawns, footy and my lady exceeded my expectations. God it was a good day.
    And to top it off I was going for a ride through the range with the lads at 9am. Phhhfftt It does not get better.
    I get up and shower. Grinning like a fat kid with a bag of lollies. Mates turn up and Fi FI kisses me goodbye.

    Keys ???? WTF are my keys. Not in the bike. Not where they should be. Not bloody anywhere. It's now six hours later and I have torn the world apart looking for them.
    I did not leave the house last night. And no one came here. The kids were all out for the night.
    I rode the bike into the garage. I put the seafood in the fridge. I pulled a beer out. I jumped into some shorts and grabbed my guitar and played for an hour and then watched footy and ate my sensational dinner.
    They have vanished off the face of the earth.
    I was out there dry reaching with my mates laughing their asses off watching me go through the crab and prawn scraps. Well might have been more than a few beers and a glass of red I had as well and I was feeling a little green. A ride would have cleared the head beautifully.
    I mean how the hell can they vanish? Seriously I have turned my whole world upside down looking for them And they are no where to be found.
    I missed my ride. My lady had a seminar and the kids are out still and I have wasted my Saturday. Spewing. I just cannot remember even taking them out of the bike. I never usually do at home as you would have to be a good thief just to get to my bikes. So a steering lock isn't going to stop them. But I am in a different home now and would have. I think ???
    I am an idiot. How can you lose your keys like that. I was completely sober when I went to get the crabs. My first beer was when I was in shorts back home. Bugger.

  2. mate spewin for ya. You know the worst part is when you do find them you'll kick yourself at how easy it was and why you couldn't find them earlier.
  3. I have to admit, I thought this was a joke, I was waiting for the punch line but it never came :(.

    Word of advice, blame the missus, it helps.
  4. nuh-uh......go for the sympathy gobby when she comes home, it will clear the mind so you can think clearly.
  5. Parallel dimensions my friend, parallel dimensions, they disappear in another realm where bic pens, lighters, and all other things that mysteriously disappear end up.
  6. #6 17SJS, Mar 12, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2015
    Still in the ignition?

  7. It's with your unpaired socks. Find the socks, you'll find the keys.

    What a spew mate (almost literally).
  8. They've been together for too long, the chance of getting a gobby is too slim, I still say blame her. You will release some anger/tension + she will be upset so she won't talk to you = 2 wins
  9. Reminds me of the time 12 of us waited for a mate to find his key,yep 1 single key lost outside a Pub in Singleton while we were heading to Urala,it took 2 hours to discover the hole in his jacket pocket,key was in the liner,who uses 1 single key anyway.I have a spare screwed to the inside of my seat.Or the time another mate left his petrol cap key at home,again 2 hours picking the lock.Bet he has a spare in his tool roll now.
  10. She will get home, you will ask 'have you seen my keys?' and she will walk over to them and pick them up from the most obvious place... and with male eyes like ours we would never have had a chance to see them :p.
  11. Er, how do you get it without another key...

    EDIT: OT, things could be worse. Could've lost the beer...
  12. What makes you think the home made SFC replica clip on solo seat on my 35 year old Laverda needs a key or for that mater has a lock.I have to admit I need a 6mm alan key thats in my jacket to get at the tools and spare key in my Pantah seat,I have seen blokes loose keys on big rides more than once so live and learn
  13. Sympathy. Glad it's you and not me but. I lose sh-stuff all the time, and I am absolutely the most hopeless human being ever born at finding stuff. If I don't see it in the first two minutes, I'm not going to see it. It'd be funny if it wasn't quite so pathetic.
  14. fair go zim, I just brain farted and was ready to write you off with having too many chromosomes
  15. There in the girlfriends bag, She accidently took them with her, Hahahahahahaha
  16. :( man that sucks.

    let us know when you find them.

    the day sounded good though :)
  17. See i knew she would know where they are!
  18. #18 17SJS, Mar 13, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2015

  19. Don't look for them and u will find it
  20. So which advice to you go with?:)

    Also, did you find them? If yes, where were they?