Seriously I make George Costanza look like an amateur. I moved into a new house this week. And well dropped my guts relationship wise. Ha ha. My life has pretty much been controlled by other and commitments the last decade. I've been seeing this lady for eight years. On and off. As I said my life has been controlled by others and I could not fairly really commit to her. So anywho I had an epiphany last weekend and decided stuff it. And moved In with her. It was my last chance and I think she really meant it this time. It was no big thing as I am always here and have been coming here for eight years. I guess I am not big on commitment relationship wise anyway. We are looking at buying a house together anyway, so I guess now was as good a time as any. I got home from work last night. It was late afternoon. The end of summertime in the tropics. The sky was getting pretty dark and the day was starting to cool. I could see a storm way out on the ocean. But the air was completely still. I thought to myself a beer with some prawns and blue swimmer crab. The first footy game of the season was on in two hours on the TV. Perfect. I warmed up the Viffer and my lady jumped on. Off to the wharf where the trawlers come in. It was still about 26C and just perfect for a ride in the jeans, gloves and a T shirt. And it was. We went for a walk along the beach and the sea was really calm. The lights on the buildings were all coming on and reflecting off the ocean. Nirvana. The cruise home was a kinda freaky tantric threesome between my lady and my bike. How can a night get any better. Seriously it was perfect. The prawns, footy and my lady exceeded my expectations. God it was a good day. And to top it off I was going for a ride through the range with the lads at 9am. Phhhfftt It does not get better. I get up and shower. Grinning like a fat kid with a bag of lollies. Mates turn up and Fi FI kisses me goodbye. Keys ???? WTF are my keys. Not in the bike. Not where they should be. Not bloody anywhere. It's now six hours later and I have torn the world apart looking for them. I did not leave the house last night. And no one came here. The kids were all out for the night. I rode the bike into the garage. I put the seafood in the fridge. I pulled a beer out. I jumped into some shorts and grabbed my guitar and played for an hour and then watched footy and ate my sensational dinner. They have vanished off the face of the earth. I was out there dry reaching with my mates laughing their asses off watching me go through the crab and prawn scraps. Well might have been more than a few beers and a glass of red I had as well and I was feeling a little green. A ride would have cleared the head beautifully. I mean how the hell can they vanish? Seriously I have turned my whole world upside down looking for them And they are no where to be found. I missed my ride. My lady had a seminar and the kids are out still and I have wasted my Saturday. Spewing. I just cannot remember even taking them out of the bike. I never usually do at home as you would have to be a good thief just to get to my bikes. So a steering lock isn't going to stop them. But I am in a different home now and would have. I think ??? I am an idiot. How can you lose your keys like that. I was completely sober when I went to get the crabs. My first beer was when I was in shorts back home. Bugger.