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new weight loss program

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by sluglie, Apr 29, 2005.

  1. A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 35 kilos due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a Guaranteed Weight Loss Program.

    "Guaranteed. Yeah Right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day/5 kilo weight loss program.

    The next day there's a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old young lady dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

    After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 kilos as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 10kilo program.

    The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."

    He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

    For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and finds he has lost another 10 kilos, as promised.

    He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/20 kilo program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

    "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years"

    The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."
  2. haha. heard that one before, but its still funny. if only they had weightloss programs like that. i guess cycling around centennial park on a weekday is a decent tradeoff :wink: :p
  3.  Top
  4. Or just before! ;)