Yesterday I was at the COSTCO superstore buying 5 large bags of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was waiting in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I looked at her funnily WTF did she think I had, an elephant? So since I was bored and it looked like I would be in line for a while, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital the last time I tried it, but I had also lost 20 kilos. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, that you load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat a few every time you feel hungry. The food is *nutritionally complete* so it works well and I figured it was worth trying again as my body would be more accustomed to the dog food. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in my line and the lines on either side were now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Sadly Costco won't let me shop there anymore.