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New Corporate Computer Policy

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Jul 11, 2005.

  1. Enough of the Rider Down stuff, here's a proper joke for the propellor heads out there

    Our Corporate Operations Committee has defined a lower cost alternative to the previously planned switch to LINUX systems. All computers will be removed from every desktop. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch.

    Following are some of the many sound and viable reasons for this decision:

    1. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.

    2. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.

    3. Reduction in technical support calls will reduce our costs associated with maintaining our I.S. help desk.

    4. Reduction in hardware costs.

    5. Elimination of all software license fees.

    6. Reduction in the amount of training necessary for new hires.

    7. Can be used at the desktop as well as away from the office due its extreme portability.

    8. Extremely low cost makes them disposable (when one breaks, we will simply replace it).

    9. We can now hire 1st graders to do your job.

    10. We will maintain a virus free environment... No more Norton.

    In anticipation of the questions some of you will undoubtedly have regarding this corporate decision, we have prepared a list of the most Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:

    Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: How do I create a New Document window?
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
    A: Pick it up and shake it.

    Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
    A: Don't pick it up and shake it.
  2. HOOT!!!
    Have you seen the Dilbert cartoon where they give the Pointy-Headed one an Etch-A-Sketch instead of a laptop, and he doesn't know the difference???
  3. ...until Microsoft buys them out, and released MS-A-Sketch. You'll still be able buy the machine for net to nix, but youll have to buy a CAL (Client Access Lic) for each grain of magnet (or whatever is in them!). But also due to the lax security of a basic MS-A-Sketch (which will be fixed in the next service pack, we promise!!), you constantly be bombard with p0rn pop-ups that will closely ressemble old ASCII art
  4. bwahhaahhahahaha love it :LOL:

    sadly, i'd be out of a job if this was to happen here. i just wont pass that on to management :LOL:
  5. Same. No more MCP or MCSE, Now just MCEaSE (Microsoft Cerified Etch-a-Sketch Engineer). Hah MCEASE. But dont worry, the exam will still cost five bizillion dollars, and youll be asked questions regarding tech SO old that it has absolutely no relevence to today whatsoever. And 5years down the track when they release the MS-A-Sketch XP, youll have to go re-sit all the exams again.
  6. You guys are too much, surely you're not suggesting that Bill isn't on top of the game with products and security?????
    Hey Lurch, can you slip the leash early and join us for a ride up to Homebush Bay for the coffee night??
  7. talking about Microsloth :eek:

    the Americans have this kinda attitude ..as you all say per above
    but sometimes they get outsmarted!

    for the Apollo space missions, NASA reckoned they needed a pen...
    yes a pen that would write upside down, in zero gravity
    and on most surfaces
    and after $25million..NASA had their pen..and it worked

    the Russians of course, also had the same problem
    their solution?
    ......the pencil :p
  8. Heard this before...... want to know the scary bit though...you have to sharpen pencils...those shavings can get in equipment that it shouldn't and cause problems (unlikely though) Not such an issue on the ground but up there you don't want the risk..... pencil might be ok 99% of the time and not cause any problems....i just wouldn't want to be there when that 1% rolls around