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New army recruit

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by firefling, Sep 20, 2005.

  1. This letter from a new army recruit to Mum and Dad back home in Eromanga,small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland.

    Dear Mum and Dad,

    I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than working on the farm. Tell them to get in real quick smart before the jobs are all gone.

    I woz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, coz all you gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No blasted cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack. Nothing!

    At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a route march Geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!

    This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a fat possum's bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year. All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable an hit the target and its real easy like. You don't even load your own cartridges - theycomes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.

    Sometimes you gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoons got and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringing wet. But I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. I can't complain about the Army.

    Tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is.

    Your loving daughter,

  2. hehehe that was really good :D
  3. lol. I was chuckling while reading, then read the last 2 lines and it made it all the better! :)
  4. on nice twist, wasn't excepting that... classic
  5. Didn't see that coming, what a classic. A previously unposted funny...how original.

    Thanks for that, thoroughly enjoyable.
  6. Haha that's a good one
  7. I LOVE the "sneak up on you" jokes, and that one did. It was funny in its own right, but the sign off is a hoot!! Thanks!