Hollywood has its Oscars, TV its Emmys, and Australian TV its Logies, so what about a set of Annual Awards for Netrider? How about we call them.... The Reitrads (no prizes for the person who finds out why this name. So this in not a complete list, but since you Melbourne riders can't shop anywhere, I thought it'd be a bit of fun for everyone to contribute. I'll start off with a few of my own. The Funniest Post Dan asked "Do you weave around to warm up your tyres?" To which Dave (Midnight) replied "I only weave in front of shop windows to see how cool I am . Looks great with my matching leathers on . Then I go off to the hills and race all the P and L platers because they didn't nod" This would have got it for me until, in the week of the Netrider Dinner Mark (Chairman) came up with this classic in a thread started by Cone of Silence about being hit from behind by a guy using a mobile in a car. Seany complained that someone had run over his kayak. To which Mark replied; "No sympathy, dude. Cyclists are bad enough, but I'm sick of kayaks blocking up the freeway. You bastards are always in the way- waving your paddles about, rolling upside down at the lights and then flipping up again. The slalom kayakers are the worst - paddling through a tollway gate and then reversing up just so they can go through another gate in the next lane. I don't drive in your rivers - keep off my freeways. Go and paddle in the gutter, get kayak lanes - whatever - but get out of the way. Or we play real kayaks - you can be the eskimo and I'll be the the whale." The Shortest Post Many contenders with the same syntax: pffft "message too short" The Longest Post Undoubtedly, and frustratingly because it was SO POINTLESS, "The Longest Joke in the World", posted by Milos on the 11th November. hands up all the other suckers who read it right through, hoping (in vain) that the effort would be worth it?! So, there's a start, search the grey matter and come up with some more, or some more contenders for these categories. Who knows, it could become an annual event?