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Neologisms

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by polarbear, Oct 12, 2007.

  1. Recieved the following in an email... thought I'd share :)




    Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
    submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
    asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

    The winners are:

    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
    gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
    absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
    run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.



    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
    proctologists.

    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
    Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief
    that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
    there.

    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
    Jewish men.


    The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
    any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
    changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are this year's winners:

    1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
    bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
    shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    2. Foreploy (n): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
    purpose of getting laid.

    3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
    subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

    4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
    the person who doesn't get it.

    6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
    late.

    7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

    8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
    credit.)

    9. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all
    these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
    and it's like, a serious bummer.

    10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
    consuming only things that are good for you.

    11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

    12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
    when they come at you rapidly.

    13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
    you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
    your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub
    in the fruit you're eating.

    And the pick of the literature:

    16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
     
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  2. Brilliant - i tried to think of a simillary witty response but failed!

    :cry:
     
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  3. Should be a 'sticky' :LOL:.
     
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