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Neologism contest

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Mr Flibble, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. 'Borrowed' from another forum (and, I suspect, the poster i that forum got it from some other forum or blog)


    Some of these are very clever indeed!
    --------------------------
    The Washington Post has, as in earlier years, published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners ...

    1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future ...

    2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid ...

    3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period ...



    4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ...

    5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it ...

    6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late ...

    7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness ...

    8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease ... (this one got extra credit) ...

    9. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer ...

    10. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you ...

    11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action ...

    12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ...

    13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web ...

    14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out ...

    15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating ...


    There's also another section, in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are ...

    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs ...

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained ...

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach ...

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk ...

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent ...

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown ...

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp ...

    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash ...

    9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller ...

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline ...

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam ...

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists ...

    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist ...

    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms ...

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there ...
     
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  2. This is on the wall of one of the staff toilets at one of the schools at which I work :LOL:.

    My favourite is the Dopeler Effect.
     
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  3. Very good!!!

    I like the Pokemon one!!....

    :LOL:
     
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  4. Love number 5. :D
     
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  5. This doesn't really follow the rules, but I found a corker: anshitipation, the phenomenon when the closer to a toilet you get, the more you need to go! Ha!
     
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  6. Seen them before but thanks so much for repeating them, I get a giggle every time I read those.

    Incidentally, here's the peerless Gary Larson's take on the Bozone Layer.

    [​IMG]

    The picture is a little small, but the layer is made up completely of clowns.

    Which reminds me of the two cannibals who were eating a clown and one turned to the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you??"
     
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  7. And here's another one.

    Netruder: (n) The characteristic of certain NR moderators to use their protected status to slag off other members.

    24.
     
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  8. Here's a couple more:

    Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

    Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
     
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  9. My dad used to believe in reincarnation. He said that, when you die, you come back as a can of condensed milk!!
     
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  10. well said (y):rofl:
     
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  11. ^^.. have to agree there!!.... :D
     
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