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need ya help

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by D Stump, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. i know your probably not going to help.

    im visisting my friends toddlers this friday and would appreciate any joke thats suitable for young kids?



    i know a lot of jokes, but this time im stumped!
     
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  2. how young? you can always open their minds he he.

    a bear and a rabbit were taking a sh!t in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says 'excuse me. do you have a problem with sh!t sticking to your fur?' The rabbit says no. So the bear wiped his a$$ with the rabbit.

    one of my all time favourites. From Eddie Murohy. (delierious) spelling?
    is the one he told for all the kids to take bake to school :LOL: :cool:
     
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  3. just re-read..... toddlers he he he he.... oops.

    maybe not then :p

    how about. what's balck and white and red(read) all over?
    the newspaper.

    how many fingers am i holding up?
    none - they hold themselves up!

    yeah i suck with young jokes too sorry. check the comic section form the sunday papers. here in qld tehy have jokes etc in them as well for kids. if i wake up in time tomorrow will post them up for you.
     
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  4. Hey, Stump. Here's a few jokes for you :) They're straight out of a book so I hold no responsibility for their (un)funny-ness :wink: Little kids are a pretty tough audience.

    Have fun on Friday :grin:

    What do you call a skeleton that doesn't do an work? Lazy Bones

    How many hamburgers do you give to a huge, mean monster? As many as it wants.

    What do they call a snowman in the desert? A puddle.

    What can run, but can't hide? A runny nose.

    What do you call a smelly Santa? Farta Christmas (ha hahahaha ha)

    Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

    What's black, white, smelly and noisy? A skunk with a drum kit.


    Had enough yet?? I have plenty more :wink:
     
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  5. How do you fit elephants in a pink mini minor?
    Two in the back and two in the front.

    How do you tell if a girafe has been in your fridge?
    Footprints in the butter.

    How do you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?
    A pink mini minor parked out front.

    Donald Duck
    Did some muck , behind the kitchen door.
    Mother Duck
    Cleaned it up , and Donald did some more.....

    Billy in one of his nice new sashes
    Fell in the fire and was burn't to ashes
    Now all though the room grows chilly
    I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

    Itsy bitsy spider
    climbing up the wall
    one step .... two step....
    and a tickle under there ( furiously tickling at the same time of course )
     
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  6. Tell them you have a movie abot pirates, but they're not allowed to watch it coz it's rated "ARRRRRRRRRRRR".
     
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  7. Another elephant joke......

    How do you tell if there is an elephant under your bed?
    Because your nose is touching the ceiling.

    My favourite kids knock knock.....

    Knock knock. Who's there? Cows Go. Cows go who? Cows go moo, not who!
     
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  8. knock knock
    whos there
    banana
    banana who?
    knock knock
    whos there
    banana
    banana who?
    knock knock
    whos there
    banana
    banana who?
    knock knock
    whos there
    orange
    orange who?
    orange you glad i didnt say banana?
     
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  9. or howabout....

    knock knock
    who's there?
    Granny.
    Granny who?
    knock knock
    who's there?
    Granny.
    Granny who?
    knock knock
    who's there?
    Granny.
    Granny who?
    knock knock
    who's there?
    Aunt.
    Aunt who?
    Aunt you glad I got rid of all those Grannies!
     
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  10. How many ears does Davey Crocket have?

    A left ear, a right ear and a wild frontier...

    (First explain Davey Crocket.... then sing the song from the TV show .... then tell them your real age !!!!!)

    Keep them busy for hours :)

    OK - I'll try harder next time
     
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  11. UNREAL!

    thanks guys, much appreciated :LOL:
     
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  12. Knock knock.

    Whos there?

    Nobody.

    Nobody who?

    ... Nobody who?

    Aheh.
     
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