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My Wife doesn't want me to learn :(

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' at netrider.net.au started by stinhambo, Aug 26, 2006.

  1. I'm sure this has been discussed before but my wife is giving me a hard time about wanted to ride a motorbike saying that it's dangerous and any fall can kill you etc...

    Yes admittedly a bike doesn't offer as much protection as a car but surely being more aware of the road should help?

    She is convinced that one ride will lead to my death!

    I'm sure I will get into a minor accident or at least drop my bike a few times but is really that dangerous?

    How many accidents have you guys and girls had? I'd like to go back and tell her that it's not that bad!!

    Cheers all.
  2. Ive had accidents but never been badly damaged.
    you have more chance of winning the lottery than dying on a bike :)
  3. take her off to motorcycle training with you. my wife did the 2 day learners course here and she loved it. she rides everywhere now and we got our 2nd bike this morning. we have HART over here for training, don't know what you have.
  4. I have been riding for over a year now and the closest I have come to an accident was dropping the bike just after stopping at the training course.

    I do not think you have a greater chance of having an accident on a bike than in a car if you are anticipating and managing the risks of the road. However if you do have an accident your chances of dying are greater. All things worth doing involve some form of risk.

    How many posties and police riders do you hear about coming off. They ride every day and obviously manage the risk quite well due to the low accident rate.

    I started riding to save money but now I ride because I love it, every trip is an adventure. :cool:
  5. I strongly doubt that's true Eswen...

    Whilst the number of lottery winners may be similar to the number of people killed in motobike accidents the number of lottery entrants is considerably higher so the percentage chance of lottery wins occuring is considerably lower.

    And you can't justify that using the number of licence holders or registered bikes to work it out either because many bikes are seldom used and many licenced riders don't actually have a bike any more.

    Riding a bike is about as dangerous as flying a light plane according to the statistics I've read, or somewhere between 30 and 35 times as likely to result in fatality as driving a car.

    However corellation does not equal causality... you personally don't have to be part of those statistics :wink:
  6. IMO, most motorcycle accidents occur for 1 of 2 reasons:

    1) Riding beyond one's limit
    2) Poor rider roadcraft (often represented in various "Bastard Cager" threads)

    Given that you're 30, you're likely to have an adequate sense of basic road-craft. Ride defensively, very defensively, anticipate the worst possible scenario that some other road user could do, and the odds of you being hit by someone else will be lower than if driving a car, purely because a bike is more nimble and can escape some scenarios than a car cannot.

    As for riding beyond one's limits. Well that tends to be the big killer in the sporty rider category. 99 times out of 100, I'd say that when someone who is inexperienced (<500hrs riding time) crashes their bike by themselves, it will be because they rode beyond their own limits rather than the bike's. Only you can control what you do on the bike with the right attitude in your head.

    Oh, and NEVER mix intoxicants and riding. Being even remotely mentally impaired will increase your chance of an accident by some stupdendous amount (depending on what statistics you've read, anything between 20x and 100x).

    In short, if you ride defensively around traffic, ride within your limits, and ride while mentally unimpaired, the odds of having an accident will be less than in a car. The odds of being hurt seriously when you do have an accident are about 10x higher than if in a car, so the goal is to not have the accident in the first place.
  7. Sounds like you made the mistake of asking her first prior to purchasing a bike, bad move dude.
    You now have to get on all 4's like a dog with explanations and rebuttal to all her concerns, that isn’t what motorcycling is about, your cooked you poor bugger.
  8. Fatality rates per 100,000 participants

    1. Horse racing: 128
    2. Sky diving: 123
    3. Hang gliding: 56
    4. Mountaineering: 51
    5. Scuba diving: 11
    6. Motorcycle racing: 7
    7. College football: 3
    8. Boxing: 1.3
  9. I ment it more in a "90% of statistics are made up on the spot" kind of way ;) :LOL:
  10. Not trying to sound smart and it's a valid point Kaer makes, but fatalaties in motorcycle racing and road riding are two very different things. Motorcycle racing is controlled and done on tracks designed to accomodate accidents and minimise injuries. Out there on the roads it's you and your wits.

    I'm new to riding and CONSTANTLY get barraged by friends and family about how dangerous riding is and that I must have death wish to do it. Granted, if I have an accident I am more vulnerable, but reflecting earlier sentiments in the thread, I intend to avoid accidents by riding within my limits, being very aware of everything around me and always expecting the worst from drivers, never drinking and riding, etc. Naive perhaps, but it all helps.

    Ultimately most activities we engage in carry some risk, you just do what you can to minimise it. Though I know riders that have had bad accidents, I also know plenty who have ridden for decades without a major incident. A bike doesn't mean death and maiming :grin:
  11. Where did you source these from Kaer?
  12. get a new wife :LOL:

    i like the idea of taking her along to the riding lessons, but some people just dont like motorbikes.
    you are a big boy though, do what you like :grin:
  13. i cop the same crap as you ughboots and there's nothing more anoying than hearing it from people who don't ride and understand how much fun it is,if minimising it is the best we can do then so be it !and everyone else can get stuffed
  14. My missus (not wife so I still have time to trade her in for the model that likes bikes hahaha) won't even watch me ride out the drive way. She didn't want me to get one, but has since learnt that I ride defensivly and look for big metal cages on wheels. She still won't watch me leave but she doesn't whinge when I got for a ride anymore :LOL:
  15. you'll have to trade her in but then don't get one like mine i can't leave the house without her wanting to come along on the back. I'v tried to convince her to do her license but she to chicken.
    The problem with her coming along with me is that my bike is to uncomfortable for her to go on long ride and limits me to a slower speed guess you just have to take the good with the bad hu.
  16. I hope you mentioned that everything you do in your life will eventually lead to your death. What matters is if you have done all things you want to before then.

    +1 to that. Its not rocket surgery, if you really want to do it, then she should understand that or she has to go.
  17. I've had similar responses from everyone that doesn't ride bikes and a couple who used to. It's true, the risk of fatality is greater than in a car, but the risk of having an accident? Does anyone have any stats on this one?

    My instructor at HART told us a story of driving in a car and traffic had stopped on the freeway. In the rearview mirror, he watched the person coming behind him too fast. He saw it coming, but because he was in a car, he couldn't go anywhere. There ended up being a 4 car stack and everyone had to go to hospital. The police said to him later that he would have been killed if he were on his bike.

    "Uh-uh," he said. "I saw her coming. If I were on my bike, I would have gone between the lanes and far away. Uninvolved."

    Being smaller and 'uncaged' may mean being more vulnerable in a collision, but it also means you have a better chance of avoiding the 'accident' completely.

    Motorcycling gets a lot of bad press from all directions. It's understandable that she's concerned. I'd suggest you and your wife do some research together on safety and statistics and see if you can come to some compromise. It also helps to get her talking to other riders, I think. :)
  18. My wife lost her previous boyfriend. she has her concerns about me riding again, but she's a classy lady, she keeps them under control. I appreciate her greatly!

    Oh, unfortunatley he was a little young in the head.
  19. I'll just wish you all the best with it, encourage you to think about what's most important in your life, and say a(nother) prayer of thanks for my amazing, wonderful wife.
  20. I think you should show her the safety gear that's out there, and make sure you use it.
    take her along to a coffee night to meet other riders if you can. assure her that you will not push yourself to your limits and ride defensively. never try to show off or keep up with faster riders. give yourself plenty of time to get where you need to be (if your running late ALWAYS take the car).
    my wife always says ride carefully when I gio out and she gets the same response everytime "always do".
    she will follow me in a car if we have met up in town, she stands out the front and waves goodbye with our youngest kid (1) and I reckon when I've got my full ticket she'll be on the back sometimes.
    Unfortunately for you, you are stuck at the hardest hurdle. the first. Tell her you will get the bike and have a go at riding, take it slow with short trips occasionally and build up from there.
    I also advise you to get out on the open road as the towns are where you are more likely to get into strife with traffic.
    I could cruise down the highway better than I could gear up and down around the streets of town for a while but I persisted with the town and can comfortably do it now.
    get to know your bike, it balance power etc. go for a bike that is almost imposible to accidently mono or get the back off the groung from braking (thats what i love "bout my cruiser, It cant do either).

    If you think it might help her find someone in your area who is willing to ride with you.
    Good Luck