Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

My Left Nut a story for Loz

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by VTRBob, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. You can all thank Loz for this little story.

    Goes back to when I was a wee lad of 17 and did a whole lot of sailing, 16' Hobbies , 18' skiffs etc etc.
    We where dry rigging a 16' corsair , when the Jib [ forsal ] got caught in the runner about 2/3rds the way up. So being the fit little turd I was, I shimmied up the mast to clear the jamb..... nothing I hadn't done a few times before on other boats.
    Cleared the jamb no problem, whilst sliding back down the mast I got distracted by my crew mate who started to finish hauling up the Jib before I'd got fully down.............
    Then disaster struck in my split second of distraction I forgot about the CLEAT just above the Boom, now bear in mind I was only wearing boardies !!
    The cleat found a very nice soft bit of MALE only skin and neatly ripped it open and at the same time......... shall I say ripped my left nut out and apart.

    Now let me say there was NO pain and stuff all blood involved, Shock value was off the scale !!!
    Can anyone else here say they have held there own nuts in their hand ?

    But it did get me a nice ride in an ambulance, and a bit of cosmetic surgery, Oh I still have two nuts but only ones real and that got disconnected a few years ago after my 2nd kid :wink:

    Yes I've been sailing since and am even looking at getting myself a new 18' hobbie for the summer months up here [ when I'm not riding that is ]

  2. OMG that's nuts! :shock:

    Apologies for the bad pun :LOL:

    and ummm...OUCH!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
  3. Whats the manufactured testi made out of?

    & why they put one in? Was it so you didn't have excess skin
    hanging off ya sac? or so ya wife still had a handful to play with? :?
  4. Its made outa some synthetic concoction.

    It was implanted to avoid any 'emotional' scars, I was 17 at the time and had a lot of cavorting to do :wink: :LOL:
    If I had the chance again I'd get em to put in one of those remote controlled vibrating ones :twisted:
  5. The word "cleat" makes me shiver ever since you first told me that little tale Bob.

    My righty was scooped out through a hole in my lower abdomen. The thought of that wsn't too welcome ether.
  6. Haha :LOL:

    Would make a good party trick. Pull the gonads out & slam the synthetic
    testi between ya palms without flinching :LOL:

    Is it hard or does it have a spongy feel to it like dem stress balls?
  7. ahhhh
    i just winched when i heard that :shock: :shock:

    but yea great party trick though:p
    flop em out and slam it hard with something heavy without flinching... just dont do it on the wrong one!!
  8. Geez boys, thanks for all the info :shock: :shock: :LOL:
  9. flag2.
    you are the tuffest here bob!
  10. As far as I know you cant tell the difference between the fake and real one, well I can. The fake one is just too, um , smooth ?
    No one has noticed, and those that have been told [ of the female persuasion :p ] have to pay real close attention to tell the difference. which I hate by the way ..................... NOT :LOL: :rofl:
  11. Hahaha ya funny ****.
  12. I vomit every time you two blokes tell this yarn. Bugger off the pair of yez.
  13. While trying to clear a jam, eh?

    You certainly ballsed that up.
  14. ...you ripped off one of your nuts on a cleat... :shock: [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    Just thinking about it makes me feel ill. [​IMG]

  15. :shock: Bob ... your one tough SOB :sick:
    Glad to hear it had no adverse effect .. ie you had 2 kids :)

    Hey .. gives new meaning to the term ... " I bet my left nut ... :rofl:
  16. :cool:
  17. Mine just headed north for the summer after reading that :eek:hno:
  18. Gives a new meaning to block and tackle.

    Nutter of a story.

    I hope you asked the nurses to rub cream on it.
  19. I can't believe I asked you to tell that story. It sounded so painful that my arms went numb :shock:.