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My jobs...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by TonyE, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. Had a look but couldn't find that it's been posted before..


    My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got
    canned... couldn't concentrate.

    Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack
    it, so they gave me the axe. I guess I just wasn’t the right sort of feller.

    I went for a job as a courier but I just couldn’t deliver.

    After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it,
    mainly because it was a sew-sew job and I knew zip all about it.

    Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

    Then I tried to be a chef, I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

    So I moved to front-of-house in the restaurant but I just couldn’t wait until I finished.

    I thought I was on a roll when I tried being a baker but they accused me of loafing on the job and they said my ideas were half-baked.

    I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't
    cut the mustard.

    My best job was being a musician, but the scales were tipped against me and eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

    I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any

    I switched to dentistry but found I was always down in the mouth about it.

    My career as an electrician was a failure – I did a shocking job.

    I tried being a medium but I never had a ghost of a chance at it.

    Next was a job in a shoe factory. I tried, but I just didn't fit in.

    I went into a cardboard box factory but I just had to pack it in.

    Then I tried cabinet-making but I just couldn’t get a handle on it.

    I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

    I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

    So then I got a job in a gym, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

    I failed as a golf-pro, I just didn’t have the drive.

    After going back to study I finally got a job as an historian, but there was no future in it.

    My teaching attempts were failures – they told me I lacked class.

    I tried to be a writer but I lacked the write stuff.

    When I tried being a minister I just didn't have a prayer.

    As a shearer I just looked sheepish.

    Bob Jane offered me a position but I wasn’t really the re-tyreing type.

    My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.
  2. :LOL: very funny mate.
  3. Top stuff, Tony :LOL:.
  4. I tried computer programming but I just couldn't "C" the point... :roll:
  5. I could have been a surgeon, but I didn't have the heart.
  6. i could have been a catholic priest, but it was too childish.