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Murphy's Laws of Motorcycling

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' at netrider.net.au started by TonyE, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. Shamelessly pinched from a BMW forum I'm on :LOL:

    • “Level†ground is sometimes anything but! This is usually discovered
    after pulling into a parking spot with a fully loaded touring bike.
    Without a reverse gear, backing a bike up even the gentlest of grades
    is hard work and cannot be done with any degree of dignity.

    • You put your bike key safely in your hip pocket – before you donned
    your raingear and helmet and gloves and plugged in your headset and heated gear.

    • Pushing a bike, any bike, because you have run out of fuel is
    maddening, and very hard work. You will be precisely midway between
    available gas stations when the bike quits, uphill from where you
    stopped or a long way from nowhere, (in which case pushing is futile.) besides,
    K bikes are too damn heavy to push period !

    • The bike will not start with the kill-switch in the off position. You
    never forget it when you are alone, only when others are observing.

    • “Hard†gravel is an oxymoron. Sooner or later, you will choose the
    wrong spot to deploy the sidestand and will have to pick up the bike.
    There will always be other bikers watching.

    • It will already be raining, and raining very hard, by the time you
    decide to stop to don your wet-weather gear. The sun will come out five
    minutes later.

    • A helmet which is placed on the seat of the bike will fall to the
    ground and get scratched, even on a perfectly calm day. This mostly
    happens to new helmets.

    • Your favorite jeans are in the wash, so you wear the newer pair –
    the ones that are a wee bit snug. Well, lets just say that after 30 miles,
    you are certain that the day is not going to be fun! This
    applies equally to men and women. Squirming while riding does not help.
    Also, undergarments cannot successfully be adjusted while astride a

    • Trying to wipe a big bug splatter off your face shield with your
    glove will result in a greater mess. If you only hit one bug, it will
    be in your line of vision.

    • The time required to get geared up and rolling rises geometrically
    with the number of people and bikes involved. Any quick five-minute
    stop for one bike/rider, takes at least 10 minutes if there are two
    bikes, and multiples of 10 if there are more.

    • The straight sections of road where overtaking would be easy will be
    empty of traffic. The anticipated curvy sections of the road, complete
    with a double yellow line, will be clogged with slow-moving trucks and
    holiday traffic.

    Feel free to add more... :LOL:
  2. • It will already be raining, and raining very hard, by the time you
    decide to stop to don your wet-weather gear. The sun will come out five
    minutes later.

    so sadly true :LOL:

    and then, when you've taken it off because it's too hot, it will rain again.....
  3. Guilty as charged :oops:
  4. ugh so true.. but in my case it was the first day out with the new bike and new helmet, parked undercover and hit a very low pipe on the roof of our work carpark.
  5. This one comes with an addendum;

    - You can check the bom before you leave for a ride, the rough calculations you come up with to be home by, will be out by 5 minutes, regardless of how long the ride is.

    I went out for a ride that ended up being ~3.5 hours, and got satched 1 km from home. That was a real shitter, leather jacket, gloves, draggins, all to the bone. Bloody heavy rain to get the job done that quick!
  6. You are more likely to drop the bike when others are watching.
  7. mm, and on a group ride, the more people prepared for rain the less likely it is that it will rain, and conversely the fewer people prepared for rain the more likely it will be that it will rain.

    Oh and if you only hit one bug it will be one bl**dy messy big one too :LOL:

    - If you realise everything is going just right, everything is finally coming together .... it suddenly wont !

    - Just as you are about to take off after having a break, after letting a very unfun line of traffic get out of the way, you will find an overloaded small truck comes along just before you can take off.

    - A second cup of coffee seems such a good idea until 10 mins after you start off again ...