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Motorcycling Quotes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by voyager, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. Great motorcycle quotes. Some I've seen here in people's signatures, some off other newgroups/forums, some from websites, the rest recieved in a email from a mate this morning. A couple I liked so much, they're now in MY signature too!


    "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs."
    -Alexei Sayle

    Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul.

    “200mph, no hands. Damn that’d be cool right before the part where you die.”
    – A. Duthie

    “There are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting, and motor racing. All the rest are merely games.”
    – Ernest Hemingway

    “Calling upon my years of experience, I froze at the controls.”
    – Stirling Moss

    “Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle.”

    Seen on a motorcycle’s rearviews:
    “Warning: objects seen in mirror are disappearing rapidly”

    Got a $5 head? Get a $5 helmet.

    “There’s the V-4 thing: there’s just something about it that inline 4s don’t have, and V-twins have too much of.”
    – Murray Duncan

    “Life may begin at 30, but it doesn’t get real interesting until about 150.”

    If you’re going to lead, then lead. If you’re going to follow, get the hell out of my way!

    “Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...”
    – Hunter Thompson

    “Keep thy eye on the tach, thine ears on the engine, least thy whirlybits seek communion with the sun”
    – John 4:50

    “You start the game with a full pot o’ luck and an empty pot o’ experience... The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck.”

    “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting GERONIMO!”

    “Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don’t have the balls to live in the real world.”
    – Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden

    “I believe in treating everyone with respect, but, first you have to get their attention.”

    “Never trade the thrills of living for the security of existence”.

    Everyone knows Honda’s attitude in the GP Paddock! “ Who will be behind us this weekend? “

    “A zest for living must include a willingness to die.”
    – R.A. Heinlein

    If you think you don’t need a helmet, you probably don’t.

    “Racing is living, everything else is just waiting”

    “If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.”
    – Larry McMurty

    “Why are motorcycle dealers closed on Sundays? Because Sunday is for worship... Catholics go to church, Motorcyclists go to the track.”
    – Justin Skalka

    I want to leave this world the same way I came into it: Screaming and covered in blood.

    Kansas: home of the highway with 318 miles and 11 curves.

    What does a Harley and hound dog have in common ? They both spend most of their time in the back of a pickup truck. What differentiates the two ? The hound dog can get in and out of the pickup under his own power.

    “98% of all Harleys ever sold are still on the road. The other 2% made it home.”

    Midnight bugs taste best.

    Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

    NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.

    Never try to race an old geezer, he may have one more gear than you.

    Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.

    Routine maintenance should never be neglected.

    It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

    Never be afraid to slow down.

    Bikes don’t leak oil, they mark their territory.

    Don’t ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

    Pie and coffee are as important as petrol.

    Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight.

    If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals (you may even have to shave).

    Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you’ll ride alone.

    Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

    Never mistake horsepower for staying power.

    A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.

    A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.

    Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.

    If you don’t ride in the rain, you don’t ride.

    A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.

    Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived.

    Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

    A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.

    Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

    Always back your bike into the curb, and sit where you can see it.

    Work to ride & ride to work.

    Whatever it is, it’s better in the wind.

    Two-lane blacktop isn’t a highway – it’s an attitude.

    When you look down the road, it seems to never end – but you better believe it does.

    A rider can smell a party 5,000 miles away.

    Winter is Nature’s way of telling you to polish.

    A motorcycle can’t sing on the streets of a city.

    Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.

    People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.

    If the bike isn’t braking properly, you don’t start by rebuilding the engine.

    Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.

    Sometimes the best communication happens when you’re on separate bikes.

    Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

    Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.

    The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.

    Learn to do counter-intuitive things that may someday save your butt.

    The twisties – not the superslabs –separate the riders from the squids.

    When you’re riding lead, don’t spit.

    If you really want to know what’s going on, watch what’s happening at least five cars ahead.

    Don’t make a reputation you’ll have to live down or run away from later.

    If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.

    A friend is someone who’ll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you’re broken down.

    If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind follow her.

    Catching a yellowjacket in your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.

    If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can’t stop at every tavern.

    There’s something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.

    Don’t lead the pack if you don’t know where you’re going.

    Sleep with one arm through the spokes and keep your pants on.

    Practice wrenching on your own bike.

    Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don’t. Some can’t.

    Beware the rider who says the bike never breaks down.

    2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.

    Don’t argue with an 18-wheeler.

    Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.

    Maintenance is as much art as it is science.

    A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel.

    If you can’t get it going with bungee cords and electrician’s tape, it’s serious.

    If you ride like there’s no tomorrow, there won’t be.

    Bikes parked out front mean good coffee inside.

    Gray-haired riders don’t get that way from pure luck.

    There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.

    Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won’t save your butt from “road rash” if you go down.

    The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.

    Always replace the cheapest parts first.

    You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are in the breeze.

    No matter what marquee you ride, it’s all the same wind.

    Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling.

    Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.

    "Four wheels good, two wheels better?"

    "There are those who have crashed and there is those that will crash."

    "ride for the rush, don't rush for the ride"

    Keep the paint up, and the rubber down!

    "There are two types of people in this world, people who ride motorcycles and people who wish they could ride motorcycles."

    "Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly"

    "It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end."
    >>Ursula K. LeGuin

    "I'd rather be riding my motorcycle thinking about God than sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle"

    "I don't want a pickle,I just want ride on my motorcikle. I don't want to die, I just want a ride on my motorcy.........cle. "
    -Arlo Guthria

    "I'd rather push my Harley, then ride a Suzuki".

    "Ride as if your life depended on it! "
  2. I just fixed one of the quotes...

    it was wrong....OK....

    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :wink:
  3. I didn't write 'em - I just posted them up. Besides, there's a bit of anti-Harley, anti-Suzuki, etc, in there. All in good humour, of course, but crikey you Suzuki riders are touchy! :p
  4. Great stuff!!! :D :D :D :D :D
  5. When I get home I'll do a search for the "You know you are a motorcyclist....." list, it's been a while and those of you who have never seen it will get a good laugh. Many of the quotes above should be in that list.
  6. I was speeding because motorcycles fall over if you dont go fast
  7. like....
    you know your a motorcyclist when you can identify the bug by its splatter patern / colour or by its taste / crunch as you chew on it
  8. I think it includes "if you catch a kookaburra in your jacket at 110kph, you can double your vocabulary" already
  9. 98% of Harleys.....

    Ah yes, I used to work next to a Harley shop, and one day I asked the guy what the fuss was all about, and he just shrugged and said "Damned if I know, you've got no idea how many of 'em come in here on the back of a truck!" And he sold Harleys!
  10. Or:........Someone asks why you have three bikes in the garage; because you can't afford 4, idiot!
  11. Just found this one:

    you know you're a true motorcyclist when:

    1) you know the difference between a clutch lever and a brake lever

    2) you care how much you sag

    3) you carry your vin in your wallet

    4) you have a collection of old license plates, and half are current

    5) you know the maximum speed you can take any corner in your neighborhood, wet and dry

    6) you don't hang out at a sissy bar, but you have one on your bike,

    7) your wife has to retrieve the hairspray from the garage

    8) ditto for cake pans and dish soap

    9) You have a "just in case" pair of crutches

    10) you know what a shoei, a wiseco and a K+N are

    11) you have several helmets, and wear a different one depending on the weather conditions

    12) waterproof is a quality you look regularily for in clothing

    13) you know how many miles till your next oil change

    14) you see some ape hangers and you aren't at the zoo

    15) you have a key pocket and panic if it's contents are missing

    16) you carry small change for gas fill-ups

    17) you sign your donor card

    18) you remember certain years by new models that came out or what you injured that year

    19) you know what direction to turn your petcock

    20) you know how many miles you got from your last set of tires

    21) you know if there's a difference between a 420,428,and 520
  12. http://www.roaddragons.com/humor/humor.htm#youknow

  13. “Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don’t have the balls to live in the real world.”

    exactly what I believe is the problem with todays beaurocrats and politicians

  14. Wow, good link!
  15. QUOTE FROM THE LEDGEND HIMSELF MR. BARRY SHENE, this is a personal favorite of mine and i spent all weekend down the island
    "Welcome To Phillip Island, Gate Way To Hypothermia"
    Dam right to, its so unpredictable