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Motorcycle safety

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by dgmeister, Feb 25, 2013.

  1. **author is obviously a sour fcuker who hates bikes, but has some interesting ideas.
    this does not belong in the jokes section...

    Motorcycles are an early form of Terminator, designed to infiltrate human society and pick off aggressive males before they become resistance fighters. They're very good at what they do.
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Just The Facts

    1. A motorbike is the bare minimum number of parts required for an engine to reach lethal velocities.
    2. As opposed to regular vehicles, motorbikes use the rider to protect themselves.
    3. Donorcycles were invented by an aging industrialist to ensure a constant supply of replacement organs. He got all he'd ever need within a year and continues to sell them simply because it's funny.
    Motorcycle Safety

    The safest thing you can do with one is give it to your mortal enemy. The second sentence is normally where'd we make a joke about dicks or sexual inadequacy, but there's absolutely nothing phallic about buying a big, throbbing danger-machine and holding it between your legs. (And even if you have nothing to compensate about, after a few months of shaking and baking your crotch, you will).

    The average insurance premium for a young male motorcycler is a fair fraction of the total insured amount, or perhaps the GDP of a small country. This is because the biker is not expected to survive long enough to make a second payment, as a motorbike is basically a conversion kit for turning an insecure asshole into an extremely unguided missile.

  2. #2 Ljiljan, Feb 25, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2013
    On the contrary, you have obviously never heard of cracked. However, "funny" in the url should have alerted you.
    This belongs in jokes section.
  3. From the same web page " You might be a Zombie . 5 insane theories about why we haven't discovered alien life . I love in-depth journalism .
  4. Some things just aren't terribly funny.
  5. No, but I like the penis size indicator. Loud, 'hot sounding' pipes seems to be a guy thing.

    Maybe they're inversely proportional... :bolt:
  6. Motorcycles also pre-date motor cars by some years, and my family have standing instructions to tell ANY medical personnel attending to harvest my organs that refer to motorcyclists as "mobile organ donors" or "temporary Australians" precisely where they and their patient can f%ck off to. The next crew with a better attitude can have my giblets.

    Tend to agree with the muffler thing though. See that a lot ... or don't see it as the case may be. Applies to cars as well.
  7. It is humour but it hits nerve ends. It also possibly reinforces many peoples views of motorcycles which isn't doing us any favours. So where does it go? Down the toilet I would think.
  8. Ouch, better put that baffle back......
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Yes, this is hilarious. Well done, cracked. I shall chortle my way through the next three seconds now about what will happen to my organs should I choose to ride a motorcycle. Ha. Ha. Ha.
  10. i had a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherf ucker, motherf ucker of a staintune exhaust, that woke people in another country when i started it, and i have no shortage of a length.

    staintune are bad-arse
    loved that exhaust
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Staintune on my CB400, sweet sound, especially at around 6500 when the extra valves kick in.
  12. I'm not saying I don't like a nice note from the pipes, and Staintune are well known for being top calibre in quality and note, just that there is such a thing as too much ... and there's a lot of folk out there with not enough that can't tell the difference.
  13. I thought it was moderately amusing. Not one of Cracked's best but worthy of a smile nonetheless.

    Bikes have had this image since before most NRs were born. They'll still have this image long after we're all dead of old age. Get over it and find something important to take offence at.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. To be honest I use similar arguments when justifying to friends why motorcycling is safe. Idiots are attracted to motorcycling and they inflate the statistics. If you have a little common sense motorcycling isn't much more dangerous than driving.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. ^ Do you ever sleep @Justus?
  16. Your avatar should be an owl with a gavel in its beak.
  17. Mate, that's a bit bloody graphic! A warning would've been nice.
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Yep made me feel right sick. Ive seen my legs (lower) twisted up like that. Heres me xray after repair
    • Like Like x 1
  19. Now my post makes no sense. Oh well ramblings of a man on day release from the asylum :)
  20. Funny you could youse somethun similah for commodore drivers with chev badges