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MotoGP, Round5, LeMans

Discussion in 'Racing, Motorsports, and Track Days' started by [FLUX], May 19, 2007.

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  1. Original Source

    "The Le Mans circuit has a long rich historic heritage - a trip to the trackside toilets will prove that."

    Ask a random person in the street what Le Mans means to them and you'll probably get told to mind your own business and maybe, understandably, CS sprayed. But if you did manage an answer they'd probably mention the famous Le Mans 24 hour race.

    The Le Mans 24 hour race is a real shocker. An average Formula 1 race lasts a couple of hours and feels like it's lasted 24. The 24 hour race, on the other quickly decomposing hand, lasts 24 hours and feels like an eternity. Revolutions come and go during a race. Coastlines erode and insects evolve whilst the funny looking cars go round and round.
    Endurance races should be banned. The name itself is a paradox with the whole event actually being just for the benefit of the teams who love mechanical engineering but not action. Formula One on sedatives.

    Luckily for us we don't have a dull 24 hour race at Le Mans but instead an exciting MotoGP race…probably. Okay so it could be painfully dull but at least it'll be over in 45 minutes. So far this season it's been a mixed bag regarding action with Honda's new 800cc formula proving tight in qualifying but often, like Edwards, rubbish come race day.

    So can Ducati do it again? And by Ducati I mean Stoner, not Lesser Loris. The wise money would be on 'no they can't' as the Le Moans circuit shouldn't suit the Interpastalic Rocket. Ducati, give or take 200cc, have built the bestest 800cc engine ever and for the machine to stretch its powerful legs it needs long straights and wide open spaces. The Froggy circuit, however, is tight and was redesigned in the 80's with no real straights in an attempt minimise the constant lorry blockade strikes that usually occurred twice weekly in protest of the salt levels in the national garlic sauce.

    So no chance for four wins out of five for Casey then? Not necessarily. Power's good anywhere and Casey is on fire. Furthermore the gobby 13 year-old was keen to stress in China that the Ducati's not just a one trick pony…which was technical jargon for 'it's me not the bike that's winning'. Prove it then.

    I s'pose we better include Rossi as a race contender. He's been a bit whingy of late, maybe because he's feeling his age*, but currently he's the only rider clinging onto the fleeing convict. Now we all know that Rossi is, like it or not, the best rider. Possibly ever…unless you ask Foggy. So our minds say that really he should win…but the facts are that it's fun to see him not win just to wipe that smug, repellent grin from the face of his fat mate. I ask again - who is he and what the hell is he for? A public beating or two wouldn't go amiss.

    Honda? Well it's fun to laugh isn't it? HRC have built a bike only suitable for stunted dwarves who have smoked 20 cigarettes a day since the age of two. The regular sized riders (i.e. all but Thumbelina) find that tucking in behind the Honda's fairing is as protective as a 'Fogarty's guide to GP racing' pamphlet in a force ten blizzard. Luckily Le Moans isn't much of a straight line speed circuit so maybe, just maybe Nakano won't be rubbish.

    And what about the Hooligan? The Suzuki basher had been lurking suspiciously on the outskirts of podiumland for far too long but finally made the smash and grab run in China for a deserved third place. His confidence is high and the feeling of relief from him is notable. His 'Paris Hilton carbon fibre collection' sunglasses, however, are rubbish.

    Finally after 'turning his leg inside out' (you've got to respect the medical jargon haven't you?) back in Jerez the amazingly hard Italian (did I really type that?) Roberto Locatelli is back on the scene this weekend and ready to ride. Outstanding stuff from a true hero. We salute you sir.

    * Insert your own Uccio gags here
  2. You subbing for marko, Stew??

    One of the first motorcport books I read was the account of the Aston Martin win at the 24 hour race in 1959. It captured the first couple of paragraphs well.

    {Remember too that there is a 24 hour MOTORCYLE race at Le Mans too; the famous Bol d'Or, after which Honda named their first twin-cam 900 back in the late seventies}.
  3. I enjoyed reading that, what a laugh.

    I like this bit:

    I hope he can prove it cause I like Stoner, being an aussie and all. But how red hot are those new ducati's! If Rossi was on one he'd be lapping those stunted dwarves on Hondas!
  4. WOW!

    What a great qualifying! Should be an exciting race. :grin:
  5. Qualifying is a long way from the consistency of a race but Stoner has the Duke on the front row again on a track that theoretically can't utilize the advantage of the bike. It'll soon be time to put down the book of excuses and accept the kid has some serious riding ability.
  6. These writeups are hilarious. :)

    The author really hates Uccio... :LOL:

    And Hopper's sunglasses were hideous.
  7. Mod Edit: Race results in a thread that is not titled spoiler can mean the end of your account.
    Results removed
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