1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." 3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you but don't start anything." 4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here." 5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra..... 6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual." 9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy. 10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 12. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. 13. I went to the butcher's the other day and bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, "No way, the steaks are too high." 14. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!" 15. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.