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More Blonde Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by grange, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many textures, prints and hues of pink fabrics. Once she has finally picked out a pink floral pattern, the salesman asked her "What sizes do you need?"

    She replies "15 inches."

    He exclaims "15 INCHES?! What room are they for?"

    She says, "I only need one, and it's not for a room. It’s for my computer monitor."

    The surprised salesman exclaims, "Miss, computers do not have curtains."

    The blond says "HELLOOooooooo.... I've got Windows!"


    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

    She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

    The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the Radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the First to respond.

    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the Cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

    Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I Come home to find all my possessions stolen.

    I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.'
  2. hehee like :)


    Guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and say's hello!

    He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he says "do you know me?"

    To which she replies "I think you are the father of one of my kids."

    Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "my god, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching,while your partner

    Whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?".

    She said "no, I'm your son's maths teacher."
  3. a blond, a redhead, and a brunette were discussing their children when suddenly the brunette blurted out, "I can't believe it, I found beer in my daughter's room. She's been drinking!" The redhead replied, "That's nothing, I was so surprised when I found pot in my daughter's dresser. She smokes weed!" The blond mother looked at them both and said, "That's nothing! Yesterday I found condoms in my daughter's purse. I never knew she had a penis!"
  4. Two blondes are walking through the forest when they come upon some tracks.

    "These are moose tracks!!", the first exclaimed.

    "No, they're deer tracks, stupid!" replied the other.

    They stood there arguing and arguing over who was right until the train came and hit them.
  5. What would happen if you chopped all blondes legs off?
  6. browny might get laid?
    (sorry, couldn't help myself)
  7. Haha good one

    The world would be filled with snail trails.
  8. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
  9. A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

    "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
  10. ::facepalm:: that was terrrrible! .. but does remind me of a joke, goes like....

    What do you call a chinese prostitute with now legs?


    Darggin' Lips (dragon ;o)
  11. Nice one.

    Loll, it was a joke I heard over 10 years ago. Forgive me for the facepalmness :)
  12. Consider yourself forgiven :D