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Monday Funny - Understanding Engineers

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Understanding Engineers - Take One

    A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these chaps? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

    The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

    The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

    The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

    The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

    The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Two

    What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
    Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Three

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

    The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Four

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
  2. Understanding Engineers - Take Five

    Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
    minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
    threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
    you want."
    The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
    clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

    Understanding Engineers - Take Six

    To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

    He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
    It to the pocket.

    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

    Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
    his pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
    beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why
    won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
    girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."